Breathe.

Today being a pastor meant sweeping and mopping floors, cleaning closets, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, preparing for and leading worship, and lots of praying.  Sometimes my days aren't filled with lots of Holy Spirit moments that move mountains.  But it's in these days that I realize how blessed I am to be serving where I do.  It's ok to wash dishes because it means that people have found a meal at the Wesley House.  It's good that the floors are gritty from salty sidewalks because it means that people have found a warm place to study and hang out.  It's ok that the heat is turned up too high upstairs because it means that someone needed a warm place to take a nap and they found that on the couch in our worship space.  

I am reminded often that we live in the Holy Spirit's movement.  These everyday tasks are done with our lungs filled with it, we breathe it in and out.  It is the movement of God in us and around us.  This helps ground me when I get to overthinking things that I can't control.  It helps me stay open and loving during tough conversations and situations.  

The song above is one that we sang in worship tonight.  It's a great song, hope you like it!  As I came home tonight I turned on the debate.  What a fiasco.  I marvel at this process, at the statements that are made, at the people rising up to support Donald Trump.  What is our world coming to?  Yikes. 

And again I am reminded that God is alive, we can have hope for the future.  Thanks be to God. 
And as the song says, "All the Earth will shout your praise, our hearts will cry, these bones will sing.....Great are you Lord!"  I long for that day, how about you?

Blessed are the flexible.

At the Wesley House we often say our motto is: "Blessed are the flexible."  I think maybe this should have been one of the Beatitudes.  Something like "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall live a life drama-free."  To find the ability to be flexible in situations can sometimes be really difficult, especially when in our heads we might be saying, "If only they'd listen to me,"  or "my way of doing this would be so much better."  

I wrote recently about our "Alternative Spring Break" Mission Trip to NYC.  These spring break trips are really important to our mission and ministry.  They not only help to open up student's perspectives by visiting a new place and meeting new people, but they allow for intense worship and team-building opportunities.  It is sort of like a spiritual-growth retreat on steroids.  It works.  When we return we are exhausted but we are ready to share about what we experienced and bring back the same passion for service to our campus and community.  For me this trip has meant a ton of planning...and an intentional focus on being flexible and trusting in God.  

Upon returning from Haiti and beginning our new semester in January I received a call that the church that had agreed to host our trip would now be unable to do so.  WHAT?!  You see, finding an inexpensive place for 25 people to stay in NYC was extremely difficult, not to mention the rest of the project-planning and travel plans.  Just when I was ready to begin looking for a different location I remembered that I'd forgotten something pretty important.  

Woe to those who go to great depths    to hide their plans from the Lord,who do their work in darkness and think,    “Who sees us? Who will know?”  Isaiah 29: 15

This Scripture has been a part of our small group study this week.  It is amazing to me, that though I believe God is a part of our very being, I often get to a place of operating on my own.  I can get so busy working for God that I forget to include God.  Can you say, "CONTROL FREAK?"

Right at the end of my mission trip NYC rope I just did a quick Google search and ended up talking with a non-profit that sets up trips like this.  Lo and behold they had a group cancel that day and just the right size of space opened up.  They've planned every detail of a trip that is going to be amazing, uncomfortably challenging, and rooted in prayer at every single detail.  

Lesson learned again...talk with God first.  If we share the desires of our hearts with God first before we make plans we may just encounter something far beyond what we think can happen.  Blessed are the flexible that can trust in a God that cares about even the smallest things in our lives.  

What are you so in control of that you've forgotten to let God in?  

My prayer for those of us who can own our control-freak natures is this:  May the God of 
abundant freedom show us how to release our control, deepen our trust, and live freely into the potential God has for us!

Trust.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go,

for to you I entrust my life.    

Psalm  143:8

Tonight at pub theology we talked about trust. In these days of constant information overload it is interesting to think about who/what we trust.  It is always fun to talk about these things with my students who have a much different experience of technology than I do, and probably much different than those of you over 50 years of age.  When I was growing up I never wanted a cell phone, knew what text messaging was all about, or had a Facebook page to update.  My friends found out what I was up to when I got to school in the morning or while we were getting ready to play sports or just hang out.  It didn't matter to me how many "likes" a photo got or who was saying what about things.  Our identities these days can get pretty wrapped up in all of this false-publicity.  It is easy to place our trust in these more shallow opinions of others rather than taking seriously the development of friendships and relationships. 

In addition to all of this we hear over and again stories of senseless violence, lives taken too soon and we begin to wonder who we can really trust.  We have probably all watched those Dateline episodes where people assume a false identity on the internet only to end up being predators of some sort.  What are we to do?  

I believe all of this really impacts our ability and understanding of what it means to trust in God.  When we are not really certain how to fully trust another person how can we learn what it means to place our full-trust in God?  In my experience this can be a real stumbling block for spiritual growth.  But I think it really boils down to the same thing I mentioned above:  spending time developing a deep friendship.  

I pray we all have at least one friend in our lives (maybe it's your spouse) that you know you can trust your deepest/darkest secret to.  That one person that will laugh with you, cry with you, and truly keep a secret when you ask.  This type of relationship takes tending, doesn't it?  As in marriage, this deep friendship takes commitment, communication and intention.  

Do we take as much time to develop this deep trusting relationship with God?  Do we spend more time seeking to know God in Scripture and prayer than we do checking our Facebook posts for likes?  Before we send that forward out declaring that Jesus is Lord, do we really think through what it means to submit to Jesus as Lord?  

Though our pub theology conversation was pretty wild tonight it made me question in who/what I place my trust.  How would you answer that question?  In what do we place our worth?  

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;    he’s the one who will keep you on track.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

A simple prayer for tonight:  In You O Lord, help me to put my trust.  In You O Lord, help me to find strength and courage greater than fear.  In You, O Lord, may I learn what it means to fully love and be loved fully.  Amen.    

 

Cake.

One of the things that continually amazes me is how generous people can be.  I realize not all people are generous. I've met many people who think money is the truly the root of happiness, or that prosperity is equal to security.  I woke up early this morning with my "To-Do" list running through my head.  I decided to just go ahead and get up rather than lay there and ponder.  As I was folding laundry, doing dishes, and getting ready for the day I turned on the news.  Immediately I heard the news that a man had gone on a shooting spree in Kalamazoo, killing six and injuring two.  Senseless killing, lives shattered for no reason.  It's scary and horrible and impossible to understand.  

My next move was to go to church.  Today was a big day for Wesley House as we put on our lunch and cake auction fundraiser for our spring break mission trip.  I felt such pride in my students as they showed up early on a Sunday morning to sing some songs in worship, serve lunch, and sell cakes.  They are such good people, kind, compassionate, and strong.  No, we don't always get along seamlessly but when it matters most we know that we are together because God is doing something great and we learn about ourselves as we grow together.  

This is my second cake auction and I can't believe how much people are willing to spend for the cake they want!  Then I realize that it's not about the cake, it's about the students and the ministry.  It's about the recognition that if we want the world to be a better place we must invest in the young adults of today.  When the world is spinning out of control I am always so grateful for the time I spend with these "kids".  They remind me that God is at work, alive, and moving.

"For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment."  Colossians 1

This Scripture tells me that even when I don't understand a situation in my life or in the world I can trust that God has not abandoned us.  It helps me to realize that when our actions are rooted in love and generosity we catch glimpses of the Kingdom of God, the one that's not overwhelmed with sin and darkness.  I want to be motivated by the kind of generosity that sees the good potential in other people, the spirit of giving that doesn't ask "what's in it for me?" or look through eyes filled with skepticism.  God doesn't limit us by our circumstances or our talents, God offers us endless possibilities.  These possibilities aren't always comfortable or even clearly understood, but when we look through eyes that trust in God we can live out of a mentality of abundance rather than fear scarcity.  

Tonight I pray for the people in Kalamazoo.  I pray for the people in Syria.  I pray for parents who have lost children to senseless acts of violence rooted in power, for all who grieve.  I pray for this crazy world, for the reformation of the mental healthcare system, for people who are lost and lonely.  In the midst of this prayer I see the light of God shining in this generation of young adults.  I see strong leaders being raised up that will do all they can to impact the world for the better.  I see students who face deadlines and midterms yet give of their time and talents, in order that they have the opportunity to serve and build relationships with the homeless and hungry in New York City.  

You are going to get tired of me writing about this, but if we as the Church don't put our energy, time, and resources into those who are younger we will only perpetuate these cycles of violence and tragedy that we face today.  The Christian church will become obsolete, caught up in it's own self-righteousness.  

So tonight I am grateful for the people in our community that are not only generous, but loving.  For people who spent $200 on a cake in order that students come into contact with the life-changing Holy Spirit while on a mission trip.  I pray that the eyes of our hearts can be opened up to God's work in our midst, to opportunities to be generous in love that others might come to know God's love in and through us.  

How have you been generous in love today?

Peace.

For tonight, a few minutes of quiet in the midst of life.  

Perspective

Wesley  House has a mouse (or mice?) which we are trying to trap.  Setting mouse traps makes me feel like I could lose a finger at any moment.  This afternoon a student sent me this picture and I thought we had the smartest mouse in town - like it could read the sign or something!  I also began to wonder just how many of these little creatures might be running around our kitchen (GROSS!)  Just as I was pondering this I received the message that this was just a photo-shopped image.  They laughed that it actually fooled me, but even now I think it looks real!  It's all a matter of perspective I guess.  

Perspective seems to be the theme of my week thus far.  I have been dealing with some tension between my leaders and their ability to care for, respect, and work with one another.  It's a subtle tension that always seems present and it makes my brain and heart hurt!  It's hard for us to see where another person is coming from, and even hard to care for another person when you disagree with their rationale.  We perceive things through the lens of our experiences, our opinions and desires.  It's easy to assume that we are in the right and the other is clearly in the wrong.   Often these misconceptions are rooted in our failure to communicate clearly with one another.  Sometimes, whether we like it or not, we just fail to remove our egos from the equation and point fingers.  

This isn't a new phenomenon, just read this Scripture from Luke's gospel:  

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed[a] thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

We can choose who we want to be like in this parable.  Do we want to look upon others with disdain, mocking them in order that we praise God for making us the superior person?  Do we come to God like the tax-collector, humbled and ready to ask God to right our actions and thoughts?  Perhaps we are a mix of both of these characters as we go through the often challenging process of learning from and looking through another person's perspective.  

Before assuming someone else is wrong isn't it worth the investment of time to ask "What makes them act/respond this way?"  What are the struggles of a person's heart that lead them to make the judgement calls they make?  How can we look beyond getting what we want/our own desires in order that all people have the opportunity to utilize their gifts for the Kingdom of God?

Thankfully my mouse friend is NOT real.  My perspective changed quickly upon getting all the facts.  I wonder though what other situations in my life I am reacting too quickly to, leading to false perceptions.  Who am I judging harshly though I do not have all the facts?

As the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 139, "Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."  This is my prayer tonight for myself, for my Wesley leaders, and for you!  Thanks be to God.  

9 Servings of Fruit

All of the members of my immediate family are enjoying warm weather.  It is fun to hear from them as they have adventures, see new things, and let me know some of the details of their days.  Here in Big Rapids we had another dark winter day.  I am one of those people that loves the sun.  I can only take so many days like today before I need to see the sun, even if the temperature is cold.  Many people up here really suffer from the change of seasons and the dark days that often come with long winters.  For me the darkness can make me want to hibernate, sleep, eat, and wear sweatpants.  This seasons also brings with it a change of perspective as things go sort of dormant, waiting for the first signs of spring.   

For me, this seasonal cycle coincides with the liturgical calendar of the church.  As we begin to look toward spring we head into this time of Lent, which helps us to pause and take an intentional look at our faith journey.  This is a necessary part of the year for me as I can often become sort of lackadaisical in my spiritual disciplines.  Hearing the tales of warm sunny days, orange juice and strawberries reminded me today of the scripture about the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5).  

Take a look at the list above.  These are the things that are born in us when we are connected to the Spirit.  These are the results of the deep, challenging journey of trusting God, deepening our relationships with God and others.  These are the attributes out of which we yearn to live as disciples of Jesus.  I long for my life to be more about these fruits and less about my ego, my opinions, and my desires.  How about you?

My prayer for tonight is simple:  
Jesus, help me to be open to the Spirit.  Teach me how to be less in order that these fruits be born again in me.  Help me to love, to be kind, to have discipline, and to be gentle.  Plant these seeds in me that I may bear Your fruit.  Amen.  

Teaching an "old" dog new tricks.

Welcome to my life! This is how I feel some of the time, just a taste of the many things I learn working with young adults.  Honestly, this app has cracked me up for days now.  In fact, it's taken me some time to figure out just how hilarious it can be.  We are in the midst of final preparations for our Cake Auction, an event that helps us raise funds for our spring break mission trip to NYC.  This trip is going to be amazing and I am anxious to see the many ways we will be changed as we work with the homeless population, the elderly, and the hungry.  We will even offer a prayer station on Wall Street for a few hours, praying with anybody who stops by.  This will STRETCH my students (and me too!)

I've never much liked the "party-planning" piece of ministry.  I'm not very good at it.  Waiting and praying for all these details and plans to fall into place in order that things run smoothly can make me a nervous wreck.  I don't know how many times in preparing for these events I have convinced myself that nobody is going to come, only for God to knock my socks off with blessings.  So I too find myself constantly on this journey of trust, patience, and planning.  I am a work in progress, just ask anybody who has to be around me these days!

In the midst of the most tedious of tasks: sending emails, writing letters, printing schedules and liability forms, and dealing with a bit of extra drama on the side I find that I can become pretty joy-less.  That's when somebody pops into my office and teaches me about these silly filters on SnapChat.  These moments filled with laughter remind me that there is joy in the midst of the details - as we read in Scripture, there's even joy to be found in the deepest struggles.  Sometimes all it takes is one person, or one moment of absurdity to help us regain perspective.  If the God who created us, knit us together for a purpose we cannot lose hope and joy when the details of the world overwhelm us.  After all, our joy is in the Lord, right?!

The Scripture I read this morning really spoke to me about this, Psalm 126:

1-3 It seemed like a dream, too good to be true,
    when God returned Zion’s exiles.
We laughed, we sang,
    we couldn’t believe our good fortune.
We were the talk of the nations—
    “God was wonderful to them!”
God was wonderful to us;
    we are one happy people.

4-6 And now, God, do it again—
    bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
    will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
    will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

And now God, do it again!  In the midst of crazy political campaigning,  the nitty-gritty details of our days, long work hours, grumpy and tired moments, snow....may we be opened up to the realization that we are God's beloved...now and forever. 

What brings you joy this day, and how have you shared that joy with others? 

Love is...

Happy Valentine's Day everyone (well there's about 51 minutes left of it!).  Tonight's reflection is simple, it comes right out of Paul's letter to the churches in Corinth.  These early church communities were made up of two groups, the Jewish-Christians and the Gentile-Christians.  The Jewish believers still held on to many of their ideals, following specific rules, doing things in a specific manner.  They'd been taught this way and formed this way their entire lives.  The Gentiles on the other hand had never subscribed to this same understanding of faith.  This tension led these early Christians to quarrel (can you believe it?!)

Paul writes many important things in this letter, but today let's read the beloved passage, 1 Corinthians 13:

The Way of Love

13 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.2 If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.Love never gives up.Love cares more for others than for self.Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.Love doesn’t strut,Doesn’t have a swelled head,Doesn’t force itself on others,Isn’t always “me first,”Doesn’t fly off the handle,Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,Doesn’t revel when others grovel,Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,Puts up with anything,Trusts God always,Always looks for the best,Never looks back,But keeps going to the end.8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.11 When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.12 We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!13 But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Paul was challenging these early believers to ground the building up of this faith in love.  This Scripture challenges us even today.  How are you doing with the things Paul wrote about in verses 3-7?  I know I could use some improvement.  

It's Valentine's Day and for me this day has reminded me again how blessed I am to have the opportunity to do what I do, and to serve where I serve.  I think of the many people I have grown to deeply love at each church and period in my life thus far.  I am especially grateful this day that I have been called by God to serve alongside some very gifted, faithful, kind young adults.  It is a such a blessing to be a small part of their lives as they discern where/what God is calling them to be/do.

Love is patient, love is kind.  As the Beatles once said, "All you need is love." 

The longer I live, the more I realize that this is really the truth.  

As the Wesley House motto says this year, "Love more. Judge less." That's my goal.
Happy Valentine's Day friends, I pray you know you are loved beyond measure by a Great God.

Shooting Hoops

I love the game of basketball.  Ever since my high school days I have loved to get out on the court and play the game.  I have so many great memories of my time with the sport and the people I have met because of it.  From high school to college, playing basketball helped me realize I was capable of more than I realized.  With enough hard work and discipline my body, mind, and spirit could withstand even the most grueling of practices.  More than that however, I realized the value and power that comes when a group of people work together toward the same goal.  Winning might not be everything, but it certainly makes things more fun.  

When I served my first church I encountered the joy of being a basketball coach to middle school girls.  Though I really didn't know what to expect it became one of the best ways to stay close to the sport and it was such a joy to watch as young ladies grew in self-confidence, strength, and love of the game.  For some throwing a ball into a hoop might seem silly, but I realized again today how much I love the game.

Northland UMC (Stanwood, MI) does all it can to offer elementary and middle school boys and girls the opportunity to play basketball.  Working with the Upward Basketball program over 300 children are placed on teams, given coaches, referees, and uniforms.  All of this is done in a spirit of faith-development and personal growth.  In the middle of our practices we have a time of devotion.  Before the games the referees pray.  The score at the end of the game doesn't really matter.  What matters most is what can be learned and gained through teamwork, discipline, and friendship.  

Due to bad weather and power outages we only had one practice before this game.  I help coach this team with one of my students, Olivia.  Neither of us knew what to expect as we approached the gym.  Would they know which basket to shoot at? Could they get the ball to their end of the gym?  Did we ever even tell them how to pass the ball in?  

Much to our surprise our 4th-6th grade gals did a great job.  It was so much fun to coach on the sidelines trying to help them learn on the spot.  I'm sure the other coaches thought we were nuts as they sat in their chairs quietly.  The scorekeeper kept messing up the score, giving our points to the other team, or something?!  We were trained as coaches not to worry about the score, but our students kept asking us and the competitive people we are, we knew it was off. 

At the end of the game we did win, but the best part came in the voice of one of our gals.  After shaking the other team's hands she said, "It doesn't matter what the score said, we know that we won on the inside."  This is the same gal who doesn't have a mean or aggressive bone in her body.  The ball could actually be within her reach, but if another girl was there she'd just let them have it.  Her heartfelt comment spoke to my way-too-competitive spirit and made me laugh.  She was right.  We definitely won on the inside.  

Basketball has helped me realize the power of winning on the inside no matter what the scoreboard says.  Faith in Christ helps me live this out. Through faith I know that no matter what the score might be according to the world, I serve a God filled with grace, mercy, and compassion.  This God is a just God, a sacrificing God, a loving God.  This God cares far more about how the game of life is played than what the score is at the end.  

I love basketball.  I need to play more often.  Not to win, but to remind myself of the power of teamwork.  I am going to soak up the wisdom of these young gals as I do whatever I can to encourage them to be winners on the inside.  I have a feeling that I will learn much more from them than they will learn from me!

Wasteland

This song is by one of my favorite groups, Need to Breathe.  It's the music that's on my phone for when I don't have internet to stream from another source.  This song continues to speak to me though I have listened to it a million times.  

I'm an optimist.  Well, at least most of the time.  I like to think that I encounter situations trusting and hoping that God is present.  Sometimes though I get overwhelmed by darkness.  This darkness can come from the negativity that I wrote about yesterday, it can come from situations in which I have little power or control, it can even come from being weary.  

Today the weather has been really interesting here in Big Rapids, MI.  It would snow and blow really bad, with no visibility and darkness, to give way only a few minutes later to blue skies and sunshine.  When I see the sun in the winter months I am always tempted to just go outside and lay in the snow so I can soak it up.  The light really does give me joy.  It reminds me of things to come, like warm summer days in a kayak, or moments of quiet paddle-boarding on the lake.  Just a glimpse of the sunshine fills me with hope!

My favorite part of this song says: 

Yeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'There is a crack in the door filled with lightAnd it's all that I need to get byYeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'There is a crack in the door filled with lightAnd it's all that I need to shine

The video above shows this image of young sprouts coming up through the soil.  I imagine we have all taken notice of the first flower we see in the early spring.  We have probably all had house plants that tilt toward the sunshine, soaking in the light of life.  All it takes is a crack of light, just a crack.

In 2 Corinthians we read:

If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. 

When I think of clay pots I almost automatically think of an experience I had in college.  I wanted to make something out of clay and had a friend who took me to the studio.  I tried for quite a while to throw the clay in the middle of the wheel (missing more often than not), to mold and shape a lump of clay into something use-able.  It seemed impossible.  I'd have one side looking good, add a little pressure to the other side only to have it all look like a lop-sided mess!  Unadorned clay pots offers the image of imperfection, maybe even cracks.  But just think, it is only through the cracks, through the brokenness that the light can get through, that the light can shine and offer new growth, and new life.

Sometimes situations can really feel like we are living in a wasteland.  It is in these times we must seek out the Life-Light.  Then, as we are in the process of growing we let that same light slip out of the cracks and blemishes in our lives. That's when we really learn to shine.

Shine on, friends.  Shine on.

Complaint Department

Sometimes I can get to complaining.  I can convince myself that I deserve something better than I'm getting, or that I want something I can't afford.  For me it is kind of like a slippery slope, once I get started my whole attitude can take a swift negative turn.  Our words have such power. The book of James says it well in chapter 1:

 "Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life."

I want to be a better listener.  I've never had a problem with the talking part, or the sharing-my-opinion part.  It's the listening part that trips me up.  I have to slow down sometimes and remember how blessed I am before I get caught up in the deadly cycle of complaining.  The very act of listening is rooted in the understanding that other people have value, deserve respect, and reflect the image of God.  When we look through the eyes of faith we cannot simply complain about one another or degrade someone we do not fully understand.  We must listen and in listening we often learn how valuable our differences of opinion really are.  

When we slow down and ground ourselves in the beauty of the gift of life, looking around and recognizing God's handiwork, it is pretty difficult to complain.  How can we be dissatisfied customers when there is so much evidence of God's design in our midst!  

What situation(s) have you complained about recently?  When is the last time you were intentional about building up and encouraging before complaining?  How might these troublesome situations or individuals actually be opportunities for learning more about yourself?

My prayer for tonight is this:
God of kindness, mercy, and love ground me in the depths of your forgiveness.  Help me to listen more than I speak, to build up rather than tear down.  Teach me to work with and see your image in those with whom I struggle.  Speak boldly to my Spirit that I might recognize Your still small voice in the midst of the noise in my life.  Amen.  

Dirty Fingernails

There's ash under my fingernail.  It's from a day of reminding people that they've been made in the image of God.  It symbolizes a long day used to jump-start Lenten journeys with significance.  It reminds me that students I've never met were open to trying something new, while others were just grateful that they could partake in an abbreviated time of worship when they could not make it to church.  

The ash under my fingernail signifies inclusion, as Wesley students and I were invited to participate in the Big Rapids Community Ash Wednesday Service.  It was nice to be included.  The dirty fingernail reminds me that God is bigger than my opinions about right theology, and my frustration with my own denomination.  It reminds me that God > Me.

At our Statewide Wesley retreat a few weekends ago my colleague in campus ministry read Wesley's Covenant Prayer (see above).  I've read and heard this prayer read so many times.  It's something that tends to come around at the beginning of the  new year.  The line that jumped right into my soul is the one that reads, "Let me be employed by you, or laid aside for you." I hate that thought.  I don't want to be laid aside, I want to work and serve and minister.  But I think I need to be laid aside.  I at least need to remember that being a disciple of Christ isn't about who works the hardest.  It isn't about having the biggest group of Christians on campus, it isn't about how many students I spend time with every day.  My entire being has been swallowed up in the pressure coming from slashed conference budgets, which leads to a ministry goal of numerical output rather than transformed lives, strengthened leaders, and strong young adult voices in the church.  Pastors being pushed to perform, to have maximum numerical output are not being true to their calling to be "set apart." 

The ash under my fingernail reminds me that when I bowed down before the Bishop, surrounded by faithful church leaders and people I love, I heard words about being set apart, staying true to God's call, taking time to listen and pray.  It's the call for all of us who are in this together as pastors, lay people, and those just trying to figure out what in the world the Truth really is.  Being a disciple, growing in faith really has nothing to do with output or numbers.  When we start equating people to funds we get in real serious trouble!

God is calling me to do less and be more.  So I find myself back to the Lenten discipline of writing a devotion/reflection every day.  I don't do it to see how many people might read it or take this journey with me.  I do it because it will discipline me to carve out some time each day to read Scripture, pray, and re-connect.

How is God speaking to you?  Is there something you are giving up/taking on for Lent?  

In a spirit of deep gratitude I'm going to wash the ash off my hand and remember that I too am made in God's image.