Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Life-Light

I have to catch up a little today, but it appears I will have plenty of time. I am sitting at the Holland Hospital waiting as my dad has surgery. I find it interesting that while I do this kind of thing all the time as a pastor, it is much different to be here as the daughter. My family has been really interesting lately, and because I live about three hours away I am rarely in the thick of the goings-on. This has its benefits sometimes, but lately I have wished I could be a little bit closer. I realize that my God-given gifts do not include anything having to do with nursing, cleaning, cooking, or any other role that deals with human-bodily-functions. This leaves me a little nervous about the upcoming days with my Dad. It sounds like I am going to be helping with care of an incision and making sure my Dad doesn't starve. Don't worry, I will call for help without hesitation! He WILL survive. Actually it goes much deeper than my abilities. My Dad and I have not always had the best relationship. He has his own struggles with PTSD and alcohol. I have come to understand him so much better as I have grown up and read about his time as a Green Beret in Vietnam. I am proud of him now, though I can easily switch back to that little girl who was pretty angry with her Dad. I know that he has done the best he could and he certainly has always provided for us. So now I get to serve him as he heals, this may be an interesting few days. I am already missing my "family" in Lake Ann. Exciting things are happening in our community these days. I don't want to miss the wonderful celebration on Thursday as families come to receive gifts that have been donated for their children. It's a blessing to be able to give someone a box filled with enough food for a real Christmas feast! These are selfish things, I suppose, though I truly am overflowing with "healthy" pride about the things happening at LAUMC. The best part is that it really doesn't have anything much to do with me. It's all about God giving people passion and linking those passions and gifts with opportunities to serve. Jan, the woman who oversees the food pantry does such an amazing job. She is not only organized, but she's been able to empower some of the other people in the church to connect with organizations that provide food. She knows each family and treats anyone who enters like they are blessing her day. It's awesome. I found myself tearing up many times on Sunday as I recognized this great movement of the Spirit. I have read so many of my friend's reflections about the shooting in Connecticut and it seems they too have felt God's movement in the aftermath of this tragedy. Thinking about families greiving the loss of their young children leaves me with no words. Watching children this same age slowly walk down the aisle riding cardboard camels did the same. Hearing the children sing "Happy Birthday Jesus" and recognizing that they truly trust in the light of Christ overcoming the darkness of the world, makes me weep. Seeing the leadership of our children's programming on fire for involving children in ministry is so awesome...again it's God that is lining up gifts with service. That afternoon we met at our Community Center to watch "The Nativity Story." It's one of my favorite Christmas traditions. This year it really got to me. It's not just a cute story about donkeys and angels. It's a story of peace overcoming the violence of a jealous, raging, King Herod. The movie shows his anger at the threat of the Messiah and his desire to do whatever it took to remain in power. Again I cried as I thought about the fear and loss of the people whose sons were murdered to fulfill Herod's decree. Little boys taken because of man's fearing ego. An entire generation of men wiped out on one very dark night. Thoughts of those little faces from Sandy Hook cross my mind as I realize again and again that we have not really changed. No matter what gun laws are passsed evil will still be alive in the world. People want to ask God "why?" And it is as simply as reading Genesis to understand the very beginnings of darkness. Yet, into this darkness is born a Savior, the very Word of God, or as Eugene Peterson puts it, the "Life-Light" of the world. (John 1) Into the darkness comes life and light...neither can be extinguished because Christ is more powerful than evil. That same "Life-Light" is still at work, in the hearts and minds of all who believe. It gives me reassurance that I don't have to have the right words or the best explanation for things like tragic school-shootings. It gives me a peace that transcends my ability to reason or use logic to make sense of the world. But if you look around long enough you can't help but see that God is still in charge, and there IS light in the darkness. I can't wait until Christmas Eve when we light all those little candles and we hold them all up and sing "Christ the Savior is Born." Maybe this Christmas really will be different as we ponder the power of the Light and the promise of Life both here and in eternity. And for now, I pray that God will allow me to continue feeling humbled by His prescence and in awe of the Spirit's power and movement.