What Are We So Scared Of?

Lately it seems that everywhere I turn I am being drawn into conversations about "what the church says" about things.  It is easy for me to regurgitate what UMC polity says about things, it is easy for me to just look it up in our Book of Discipline and let folks read it for themselves.  Rarely am I asked what I believe about certain things, and generally I am pretty glad about that.  Stating what I believe and how I have arrived at this understanding is a slippery-slope that I am usually not excited about engaging.  UMC policies and polity direct my actions as a credentialed pastor in the United Methodist Church.  Thus, if I choose to remain within the denomination, I will serve God to the best of my ability within this system.  Aside from this larger structure, pastors serving within the local church also face the dynamics of each specific congregation.  Some churches are focused on specific mission projects with Haiti for example, some are full of professors, some appointments lead to working with college age young adults....these are also systems within which we preach and lead.  On an even smaller level the church is made up of groups of people. Each church seems to come with it's own "understandings" of things, each with its own prejudices, each with it's idea of "who is  in" and "who should be out"  and why.  We even go so far as to determine that "God could not possibly call so and so to the ministry..."  or "I can't believe that person is helping to lead worship."  Our lives are colored with the things we have learned from our elders, from our family systems, and from our own experiences  in the world.  Things that we define as "truth" at one point in our lives may actually be deemed "un-truths" as God presents us with different perspectives and opportunities.  These shifts in our understanding can only occur when we are earnestly seeking to know the heart and mind of God.

The hot-button "issue" thus far in my lifetime continues to be homosexuality.  My heart grieves over the amount of pain and sorrow that rages when this topic is spoken about.  Homosexuality becomes de-personalized and faceless as discussions rage on about "those people," "sin," as fingers are pointed and more and more people play God as decisions are made.  Yesterday a colleague of mine posted on Facebook about the latest debate dealing with homosexuality:  Should the BoyScout program engage young men who believe they are gay?  The governing body of Men's Ministry in the UMC, The United Methodist Men have spoken out in opposition, urging the Boy Scout's to stick with their current policies excluding these specific young men from their fellowship.  It sort of sounds like the UMM are asking for more time, and asking the Boy Scouts not to make any changes until....  Until when?  That is one of my questions.  If we continue to wait until everyone agrees on something and UMC polity actually becomes inclusive the current Boy Scouts may never live to see it!

At a denominational level the ordination of a "practicing" homosexual person is not allowed.  "Incompatible with Christian teachings" are the terms used to exclude this group of people from pastoral leadership in any UMC.  I guess, if you want to be technical about it, if you know you are gay and you don't "practice" that behavior then you are permitted your credentials.  (So basically being gay is ok as long as you don't ever have a romantic, spousal relationship with someone).  At our last General Conference this stance was upheld in the midst of much discussion and passion from both sides of the argument.  (I am not even going to engage this debate here because it's not really something I can do well in a blog post.)

When it comes to the Boy Scouts I am no expert.  I try my best to be as involved as possible with this group at my local church.  I am proud of the young men and grateful for the strong male leadership provided by the adults in the group.  As a Girl Scout drop-out I think I probably would have loved being a Boy Scout had I had the opportunity.  Scouting seems to engage a group of young men that find solace in being outdoors, in learning skills that challenge their mind and character.  

The Boy Scout Oath is:

• Duty to God and country,
• Duty to other people, and
• Duty to self

The Boy Scout Motto is:

Be Prepared!

The Boy Scout Law says:

A Scout is:

• Trustworthy,
• Loyal,
• Helpful,
• Friendly,
• Courteous,
• Kind,
• Obedient,
• Cheerful,
• Thrifty,
• Brave,
• Clean,
• and Reverent.

And my personal favorite, the Boy Scout slogan is: Do a Good Turn Daily!

This program teaches boys and young men some very excellent skills while also building character traits that can only help the world in which we live.  I have seen young men excel at leadership in the Scouting program, where they have not had that opportunity in school. I have learned much from the young men in our troop as they teach me things about safety and the outdoors, what it means to be helpful and put others before ourselves.  The young men in our troop are some of the most dedicated in our youth program and are very involved in worship and leadership in our church.  

I have no idea why we would want to exclude anyone from this opportunity, least of all someone who already feels "different" due to their sexuality.  I have no idea why a young man who believes he is gay should be set aside from the teachings that have changed the lives of so many of the young men that I know.  This doesn't make sense to me.  It is not a matter of glorifying anything or anyone, it is about a young person's opportunity to be taught healthy principles for living.  

In the midst of all these discussions I keep wondering, "What if the "rules" changed?"  What are we so afraid of?  Honestly, if we allowed all young men and boys to participate in Scouting do we think that somehow everyone of them will become a homosexual?  And as far as ordination, should homosexuality not be an issue, do we really think that all sort of "gay" people will come running to be ordained in the UMC?  Trust, me when I tell you that ordination is not an easy process and I don't think it is one anyone would embark on lest they truly felt called by God, not to mention the other affirmations that must come from the people with whom they fellowship and other church leaders.  This isn't like applying for a job, it is a life-calling placed upon us by God's stirring in our lives.  

I am a single woman in her early thirties.  When I arrived at the church I serve I was asked if I was a lesbian.  It seemed that because I was single I must be! (Not to mention pretty tall, athletic, and in my black "new appointment" suit.  And, I do drive a Honda Element....)  I was happy to explain that I happen to be eternally single and that I'm pretty open to meeting someone to marry when the time is right.  My first interview with this church and I immediately knew that this was one of those "fears" that held this church captive.  I had never been confronted with this particular issue, nor have I been asked about it as much in my entire life.  

As a teenager I spent weekends and summers working for a gay man in Saugatuck, MI.  He treated me like gold and I respect him and love him for who he is.  His sexuality never really entered my mind as an issue.  He taught me so much about working hard and treating all people the way I would want my mother to be treated.  God blessed me with this relationship.  

I have always believed that God is a God of relationships (3 in 1, after all).  That God desires us to be in relationship with Him and with others.  God has given us a gift in allowing us the emotions and opportunities to fall in love and be intimate with another person.  Asking someone to abstain from giving and receiving that kind of love seems like a sin to me.  Telling a young person who is in the throws of adolescent awkwardness that he can't join the Boy Scouts seems pretty sin-like too.

I love so many parts of what we do as The United Methodist Church.  I believe that our theology is right-on and conveys the deep well of grace from which our world needs to drink.  What would happen if we focused more on sharing the love of Christ than we do on who is right and who is wrong.  We are distracted, we are paralyzed, and we're running out of time.  

For this my heart grieves.   

This week began with an interesting discussion about anger.  I lead a Monday morning study and it is a really wonderful group of folks.  There are a few regulars and some that come as they can, so you never really know who might show up.  God is always present though, and there is usually time for laughter and catching up (yes, we often "chase rabbits.")  We've been studying Matthew and had completed the Beatitudes the previous week.  We ran through the section about being salt and light, and into Jesus discussion about why He had come (to fulfill the Law, not to abolish it).  [If you are already wondering what the heck I'm talking about this all happens in Matthew 5]  The first mini-section is titled "Murder" and lent itself to a discussion on anger and the role it plays in our lives.  Let me tell you that this was something for which there was much to discuss!  It was a lively discussion, to say the least and we didn't get any further than those few verses.

I am no Bible scholar and in all seriousness should spend a lot more time studying and brushing up on my knowledge of it's context, and so forth.  I commend folks who have spent their entire lives studying one passage or one term.  I'm still just praying that God will reveal something new to me (and the group) as we discern together what is happening in the text.  It's pretty fascinating actually, when a passage that I assume will go through our minds quickly actually holds us up.  It is amazing how we have that immediate reaction to things and how those reactions are colored by our unique experiences.  For us, on Monday, we all seemed to recognize that something like anger can really wrap it's tentacles around our minds and hearts and prevent us from seeing things clearly.  

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."  This Beatitude keeps sticking out in my mind.  Matthew wanted the early believers to keep perspective that what was happening in the immediate was not what was promised in the Eternal Future.  Blessed are those who mourn....blessed are those who not only mourn the death of loved ones, but those who actually mourn the things that aren't fair or just.  "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled."  How do we hunger and thirst for righteousness?   How do we long for peace in the world, for an end to diseases like cancer and HIV!  How  we do anger for things that we cannot control, for relationships that seem impossible to mend, for ideas to change the world.    I think God can use our anger if only it is focused on the right things.  We often have to do the hard work of being the "bigger person" and just offering forgiveness and moving on.  Often situations for which we have no control can challenge our very sense of self.  But in all of these situations we are being challenged to be more like Christ and less like our "selves."  

In my Family Systems Theory classes we are asked each time we meet, "When have you been most yourself, and when have you not been yourself?"  In ministry it is often challenging to bring our full-selves and yet maintain our call to share the grace and mercy of Christ.  [Yes, we are people...that makes this hard sometimes :-)]   It can be difficult to maintain who I am in the midst of who I need to be to serve as a pastor.  I haven't yet mastered this dichotomy but continue to seek God's wisdom in the  unfolding of God's call on my life.  God wants who we are, that's enough for God.  We need not put on any masks or be more like so-and-so.  God simply wants us to be open and by doing so we often become less of "self."   What Jesus points out in the Beatitudes is that we are truly our God-Created-selves when we are living for others, for the Kingdom of God, for redemption.  

³ 

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

⁴ 

Blessed are those who mourn,

    for they will be comforted.

⁵ 

Blessed are the meek,

    for they will inherit the earth.

⁶ 

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

    for they will be filled.

⁷ 

Blessed are the merciful,

    for they will be shown mercy.

⁸ 

Blessed are the pure in heart,

    for they will see God.

⁹ 

Blessed are the peacemakers,

    for they will be called children of God.

¹⁰ 

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Today I ponder...how am I becoming more of the self God sees?  How about you?