My Spirit Groans.

I is 1:58 am on Saturday and I'm sitting in a pew, watching Home Alone and listening to the whispers of youth who just want to stay up a little longer. I'm looking at an empty stable that on Sunday will be filled with the laughter and voices of young children as they show us the Chistmas Story and we celebrate them and the presence of Christ. We've played games tonight: Roman Soldiers is the favorite. We have laughed and eaten lots, enjoyed one another's company. White Elephant gifts always bring out the competition in us, until we realize we are fighting over someone else's junk. My mind is filled with thoughts tonight as I live in the juxtaposition of crazy teens and the realization that so many families in Connecticut are missing a child at home tonight. Why would someone take the lives of kindergardeners? What would cause someone to want to murder their own mother? It doesn't make logical sense to us because it is not logical. There are no words to express to God the depth of our laments. It is not fair that life was cut short, yet here I am surrounded by life to the extreme. Why there? What happened in that young man's spirit that took him to the place where his life ended after senselessly murdering so many? I wonder about our healthcare system. I wonder how people who are mentally ill find the correct treatment. Hospitals keep folks for three days when they have episodes with mental illness, then they are referred to their local mental health folks. There are so many people in these systems that the counselors and psychiatrists cannot keep up. Drugs are handed out with little monitoring. State hospitals are in short supply. When many of these hospitals closed people became homeless and have learned to live outdoors. They don't fit the mold, they cannot hold jobs, they are often cycled in and out of jail. Mental illness is not an excuse to kill people, don't get me wrong. Nothing makes less sense than someone opening up fire in an elementary school. The world is getting more and more frightening which makes people less and less interested in trusting anyone or anything. In the midst of the anger and fear comes that Divine command, "Do not be afraid." in the midst of the waiting of advent, of the anticipation of family gatherings, presents, food, and faith we are called to transcend our humanity and reconnect with the Divine Love if God. Paul talks in Romans about the groans of our hearts. Even when we don't know what to pray God hears the groans of our Spirit. These groans communicate on our behalf, with the Master Creator. God is the one who those children saw first today as they began life-eternal. The loving embrace of Christ, the warmth of the Spirit...I imagine This was a moment when Jesus too wept with us. Folks, we have to take care if each other. We have to look out for one another. As Christians we must transcend the fear of our culture and hold fast to hope, joy, love, and peace. We must pray fervently and then some more, boldly trusting that God hears our prayer. May those affected by this horrible act of violence feel the very Presence of God in their midst. May they find the support they need to make it through the darkness of grief, pain, anger, and loss. And may we celebrate the unique young people in our lives by reminding them how much they are loved and valued.

Three Pointers & Peace

I love the game of basketball.  I used to be pretty good at it, but haven't been able to play competitively in a while.  Aside from the fact that I really need to get back into a shape that's not round, I generally find myself in the gym (our church Community Center) with people much smaller (and more breakable) than me.  

Playing basketball really helped me become a person I respected.  The journey started way back in middle school when we played on Saturday mornings.  I wasn't very good at it until I finally grew and got a little more coordinated.  I really think that I fouled-out of every game but two my freshman year.  (I think I was trying to be a blocker...but really my big feet and I just hadn't found common ground.).  I only played one season in college, and I wasn't very good, but that year taught me about the power of perseverance and accomplishing goals that seem impossible.  I really miss playing competitively, but the basketball court has become something different to me since I became the pastor in Lake Ann.  

When I arrived in LA (yes, that's what we call it), we had this building that seemed way to big for us, way too expensive for us, and under-utilized.  Now the same building hosts many activities, worship services, wedding receptions, and sports teams each week.  The transition has been a clear goal of the people here:  to be more engaged with our community.  While this alone is exciting (and gives great honor to our great God) what I have learned the most about God's desire for this church happens on Wednesday evenings.  

Each Wednesday following fellowship time and supper at our Village Church a group of us head down to the gym for some basketball. This is where God teaches me lessons about the Body of Christ each week.  Let me tell you about the group that played basketball tonight:  

*Three teenage boys who are fast runners, high jumpers, and good friends.  

*One 20-something couple and two 18 year-olds with special needs

*One 7th grader, one 6th grader, one 2nd grader, and a 1st grader.

* One young 27 year-old guy who helps to keep things running smoothly

*One 32 year-old pastor who is too competitive.

Keep in mind that this is only the group that met tonight, we often have many  more people that offer even more diversity.  The most amazing things happen while we play.  While the three young guys love to run circles around us, steal the ball as fast as they can, and make some amazing shots...they also stop us in our tracks and make sure that the 1st grader gets to shoot it.  Anyone who might have more challenges gets at least three attempts to make the shot.  And trust me, when it goes in, there is major cheering and affirmation.  

The special needs population in my congregation is really amazing.  God has shown me so much as I have been more engaged with young people with autism, mental retardation, and learning disabilities.  I have been challenged to listen and learn from each of them as they show me what love without strings attached really looks like, or just how wonderful it can be to hear someone really laugh.  And I've learned just as much from people like these gentleman that play basketball:  It's about giving people opportunities to achieve, to succeed, and to feel encouraged and supported though they may do things differently.  

A couple of those goofy - but amazing youth from LAUMC (The two on the left)

As I arrived at the gym tonight I thought "how are we going to do this."  I knew that the guys wanted to really play and I feared that they would be "put-out" by those who were unable.  I knew the youngest kids wanted to feel included, and frankly, it's easy to just ignore them when you're trying to win.  And I knew that somehow we would all end up playing an interesting game of full-court basketball.  And that's what we did, and everyone had a great time.

We talk a lot about peace during Advent.  So many of us long for peace in our lives and in the world.  I often pray that peace exists within the congregation that I serve, within my family that often has its challenges, and within my spirit.  Peace seems like a difficult thing to achieve or obtain these days, especially as we read again of another shooting, more war, and the inability of our government to make decisions.  How can we even fathom world peace when we can't get along with our neighbors?  It's huge...and yet it is so simple.  Peace exists on the basketball court on Wednesday nights when young people (and sometimes older ones) are more concerned about others than themselves.  Peace comes to life when the score doesn't matter and the experience does.  Peace comes when we are able to laugh at our mistakes and keep on playing hard, giving it our best.  

I'm proud of my church for being a place where everyone is loved as a child of God.  I'm proud of the youth-group God brought together that is like no other youth-group on the planet.  I'm grateful for a God who has the bigger-picture in mind, but lets me be amazed at some of the details.

Peace, friends.

50 Shades of Proverbs...

When you were a kid did you ever play with one of those paddles with the ball on an elastic string?  I don't know how many times i got going with one of those and the ball would come back and hit me in the eye.  These toys take talent!  

Imagine my joy when my Monday morning Bible study read this in Proverbs:

Like tying a stone in a sling
    is the giving of honor to a fool.  (26:8)

It's like America's Funniest Videos, the guy who actually ties the rock to his sling shot and then wonders why it hits him in the face.  Who knew it was Biblical?!?  

Actually our study of Proverbs has been pretty interesting thus far.  There are many themes that run throughout the book.  We discuss the power of wisdom and just how we may obtain it.  The images that Proverbs placed in our minds often get us laughing, but usually we agree that they are right on target even for today.  Just think about these:  

A sluggard buries his hand in the dish;
    he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth. (26:15)


If you find honey, eat just enough—
    too much of it, and you will vomit.
¹⁷ Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—
    too much of you, and they will hate you. (25:16-17)

Better to live on a corner of the roof
    than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (25:24)


Some of you may offer up an "AMEN!" for that last one, and I pray that none of you are sitting on the corner of the roof tonight.  

I have been pondering the role of wisdom in our lives.  It seems that it's importance has diminished as culture has changed.  The prominence of family proverbs, handed down from generation to generation has been affected by the prevalence of divorce and broken family structures.  We are learning about wisdom from reality television shows...that is scary!  Maybe this is one of the places where the importance of the church has grown.  In a society where being busy and rushed reign, the church offers us that time to stop and sit and be as we worship together.  It's the place where we talk about tradition and ritual and where we share the meal of the Eucharist. The church can really be a powerful witness to the power of wisdom...especially when keep the main thing, the main thing.  

Rather than expounding on the songs we sing (or don't sing), more important than the way the chairs are set-up, or the strength of the coffee...the church offers us a place to learn from those who came before us while also teaching us the importance of listening to the smallest children in our midst.  God's wisdom is poured out upon us when we gather.  That's pretty powerful, and very exciting.  

I believe the God still entrust the church as a vehicle for the redemption of the world.  Do we trust the church?  How can we reclaim the power of wisdom and its ability to create peace?  

An "In Your Face" Kind of Love.

Grandparents are a blessing.  To still have them in your life when you're 32 is something to be cherished.  I haven't been the best granddaughter for the last few years.  I have to admit that I've often chosen "work" over family, not to mention that they live 3 hours away from me.  Nevertheless I have always tried my best to spend time with them whenever possible.  They love to go out for breakfast.  I have wonderful memories of many a Bob Evans run on an early Saturday morning, and no matter where they moved or how things had changed they always made me feel like they were proud that I was their granddaughter.  I have special memories of them that will forever stay with me, like the smell of their house, the soft tick-tock of the grandfather clock in their living room, and the taste of the giant green olives from Grandpa's happy-hour Manhatten.  

For the first time in 66 years my grandparents are living in separate places.  Grandma's memory is failing as is her heart.  We're not sure how much longer she will be with us in this life and none of us want her to suffer.  I've been really concerned about her since the most recent move, especially in light of a recent hospital stay during which we uncovered the reason for her rapid memory loss:  small heart attacks.  On Friday I had the most wonderful opportunity to visit her in her new place.  As I entered into the dementia-unit there she was sitting at the table with the rest of the folks.  She wasn't sure why she was there, but was certain that she was supposed to go home (to Grandpa) and not stay there.  She wanted me to call him and find out when he would pick her up, where the car was parked, and why she was in this place.  As I looked into her eyes my heart hurt for her.  Here sat my strong grandmother, former Citizen's Bank head-honcho.  This is the woman who beat me at Rummikub a million times, the woman who loved to read, the one who cared for me when I was sick.  This time when I looked into her eyes I saw a scared child looking back at me, filled with confusion and short of breath.  

I know these things are facts of life.  I have been part of this journey for so many people, encouraging family members, even sharing in that most sacred journey as one transitions from this life into life eternal.  I know that my grandma knows Jesus, though we haven't ever really had a serious conversation about it.  I simply don't want her to feel afraid or abandoned by a family who loves her so much.  After visiting over supper we moved into the activity room where trivia questions led to Christmas Carols and devotions.  It was a blessing to my soul to be present while Grandma answered those questions and sang those songs.  She is still "in there".

Grandma and Grandpa were my #1 fans when I played basketball in high school.  They came to our games and made sure they encouraged us.  I'll never forget the moment I realized how important we (the grandkids) really were to Grandma.  She had been sitting near a fan from the "away" team that had been yelling "in your face" each time a basket was scored for our opposition.  "In your face!"  What an obnoxious thing to yell, right?!  It just so happened that we won that game, at which time my Grandma got up, got in that man's face and yelled, "In YOUR face!"  Imagine a nearly 70 year-old, white-haired, 5'3" lady yelling that at the top of her lungs.  Right then and there Grandma was a hero.  I realized that she probably would have yelled at him even if we'd lost...just because her love was that "in your face."  (Hence the Black & Orange...Go Fennville High School!)

It's real love when you're sitting in the bleachers and you just can't hardly stand that someone would pick on one of your family members.  It's the kind of love that is rooted in a deep respect and appreciation not just for the birthday parties and Christmas presents...the kind of love that's in your face whether you're on vacation in Florida together or sitting in the activity room of a nursing home.  

Grandma and I, giving her the prayer quilt from Lake Ann UMC. 

In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul speaks about our current situation of looking through a mirror dimly.  He proclaims that when Perfection comes, when Christ returns, we will then see things clearly.  My Grandma is in that dim space and the lights are getting dimmer.  My prayer is that in the dimness she reaches toward the light of Christ, the light of Peace and Love.  I also pray that though I am not sitting next to her she knows that I am proud of who she was and is, and that I am grateful for the strength that she instilled in all of us gals. 

That "In your face" kind of love and support is hard to find and can so often be taken for granted.  As we approach Christmas and ponder what present to buy or parties to attend, can we root ourselves in the quest to share this kind of love?  This is the kind of love that serves as the foundation for Christ's coming to earth as a child, a humble beginning for an "in your face" love.  Let's take some time to appreciate and encourage those we love.  Instead of giving more stuff can we take some time to just be present with each other?  Can we count Sacred the moments we have with our family members and friends?  

After all, that's what Christmas is really all about......"in your face...."