Oh My God.

This is a video of the Jars of Clay song, "Oh My God."  It's a song that always makes me think and one I think appropriate for this day of preparation as we begin our journey to the cross with Christ.  For me, this song is a prayer that encompasses the depth of one crying out to God.  I invite you to listen and let it speak to you.  I hope it is as powerful for you as it has been for me.  (This video isn't perfect....especially all the white-guy Jesus pics at the end - sorry about that!)

Here are the lyrics to the song:

Oh, my God, look around this placeYour fingers reach around the boneYou set the break and set the toneFlights of grace and future fallsIn present pain, all fools say, "Oh, my God"

Oh, my God, why are we so afraid?We make it worse when we don't bleedThere is no cure for our diseaseTurn a phrase and rise againOr fake your death and only tellYour closest friends, oh, my God

Oh, my God, can I complain?You take away my firm beliefAnd graft my soul upon your griefWeddings, boats and alibisAll drift away and a mother cries

Liars and fools, sons and failuresThieves will always sayLost and found, ailing wanderersHealers always say

Whores and angels, men with problemsLeavers always sayBroken hearted, separatedOrphans always say

War creators, racial hatersPreachers always sayDistant fathers, fallen warriorsGivers always say

Pilgrim saints, lonely widowsUsers always sayFearful mothers, watchful doubtersSaviors always say

Sometimes I can not forgiveThese days mercy cuts so deepIf the world was how it should beMaybe I could get some sleep

While I lay, I'd dream we're betterScales were gone and faces lighterWhen we wake, we hate our brotherWe still move to hurt each other

Sometimes I can close my eyesAnd all the fear that keeps me silentFalls below my heavy breathingWhat makes me so badly bent?

We all have a chance to murderWe all have the need for wonderWe still want to be remindedThat the pain is worth the plunder

Sometimes when I lose my gripI wonder what to make of HeavenAll the times I thought to reach upAll the times I had to give up

Babies underneath their bedsHospitals that cannot treat themAll the wounds that money causesAll the comforts of cathedrals

All the cries of thirsty childrenThis is our inheritanceAll the rage of watching mothersThis is our greatest offense

Oh, my GodOh, my GodOh, my God

How will you take this journey with Christ?  Will you attend a worship service tomorrow in remembrance of the last supper of  Christ?  Might your feet be washed by another, as you recognize the vulnerability those disciples must have felt as Jesus knelt before them?

With so much going on in the world today my prayer is that we never cease to cry out to our God on behalf of those whose voices are silent.  At the same time tonight I pray that we might be reassured that God hears the cries of the oppressed, and works to set all captives free.

Prayer:
Oh my God, as we reflect on the things of the world that have a hold on us I pray you would free us.  As we come to terms with your sacrifice for us help us to realize the significance it has for all people.  Strengthen us to be like Christ in our words, thoughts, and actions.  Amen.

Not all Christians are assholes.

When I was in undergrad I learned of Pascal's Wager.  The basic premise is that is is beneficial to believe in God and be wrong than never to have believed at all.  It's all about what's at stake.  I know that living as a Christian has allowed me to experience the world in some amazing ways, and serving as a pastor has given me opportunities to be a part of some of the most wonderful sacred moments of people's lives.  I've held babies that are minutes old and the hands of the eldest as they pass from this life into the next.  My faith challenges me every single day to rise above my limitations in knowledge and ability, to trust that there is a greater purpose for much of what I cannot understand in this life.

Last week I was asked to help facilitate a small group discussion surrounding the denomination and our response (or lack of) to the changing culture of inclusivity.  In other words we finally were afforded the opportunity to really talk about the division that exists surrounding the full embrace of our homosexual brothers and sisters.  I actually dreaded the conversation because I am so tired of certain people having to prove that they are some how worthy of God's love, worthy to be in a marital relationship, worthy of a call to the ministry.  The more I am confronted by our denomination's lack of progress in this area the more I question my ability to stick it out.

The conversation was actually one of those "holy conferencing" moments.  We did our best to just listen to people.  It wasn't about fixing their thought process or changing their opinions.  People shared from their heart and for that I was grateful.  It wasn't until the last question that I really got to thinking.  It was a simple question, "What's at stake?"

What's at stake?  Think about it.  I guess that's what made me think of Pascal's Wager - for those who are so adamant that being gay is a sin, what's really at stake?  Do people really think that one day when they encounter God there will be a great big high five for "keeping people from serving God, preventing people from loving one another, or answering the call to serve the church?"  Is it not most beneficial to afford all people the freedom to be who God has created them to be?  What's really at stake?

Then Indiana comes up with this Religious Freedom Restoration Act - which ensures people freedom to exercise their religious beliefs.  I'd like to send the Christians who think this is a necessary law over to China so they can really experience what its like to be persecuted for believing in Jesus.  Not being able to make people pray in school or display the Ten Commandments at the courthouse isn't really destroying our freedom.  Anybody have to hide last week when they went to church?  Anybody risk their lives reading their Bible or praying in public?  We are pretty free, we just need to be respectful.  Won't more people come to know God's love by our actions than our words?  How does ensuring religious freedom automatically lead to people discriminating against others?  Have they actually read what Jesus did/said?

What's really at stake?  What are we so afraid of?

I ask myself, what's at stake?  I know my experience of the Holy Spirit that has called me by name to serve to the best of my ability.  I know the love of a God who created me to be as weird and stubborn and uncoordinated as anybody else.  I know a Christ who came so that ALL people would know the love of God - the guy who really broke all the rules by including the untouchables in the redemption of the world.  I want people to know God, to know Love, to know Peace, to know Eternity.  I'm just not sure how they're ever going to know it when we act like this.

I'm tired of being a Christian.  I'm tired of people who claim they are so Christlike using their beliefs as a weapon to destroy others.  I'm tired of being lumped into a group of people that can't see beyond their fears.

Tonight, I'm just tired.

Dollars and Cents.

12 1-3 Six days before Passover, Jesus entered Bethany where Lazarus, so recently raised from the dead, was living. Lazarus and his sisters invited Jesus to dinner at their home. Martha served. Lazarus was one of those sitting at the table with them. Mary came in with a jar of very expensive aromatic oils, anointed and massaged Jesus’ feet, and then wiped them with her hair. The fragrance of the oils filled the house.4-6 Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples, even then getting ready to betray him, said, “Why wasn’t this oil sold and the money given to the poor? It would have easily brought three hundred silver pieces.” He said this not because he cared two cents about the poor but because he was a thief. He was in charge of their common funds, but also embezzled them.

This story has always seemed so weird to me, I guess because of the intimate nature of Mary's anointing of Jesus.  It is pure adoration, giving of not only an expensive perfume but of her very self.  She loved Jesus, especially since he had raised her brother Lazarus from the dead.  And then there's the voice of Judas, one I expect came above all the other voices in the room.

"What a waste."

It seems like there is always one of those voices around.  The person who disagrees with what is being said or done, the one whose voice is louder than the rest.   The practical one who is seeing the dollars and cents rather than trusting in the powerful movement of the Spirit.  For Judas of course, it wasn't even really about what the money could have done for those in need.

Faith seems to encompass this balance between the practical and the mysterious, challenging us not to get too caught up in details at the expense of the larger movement of God.  It is certainly a delicate balance, isn't it?

As we enter into this holiest of weeks we walk this tightrope - watching and waiting as Jesus last days are remembered and celebrated.  We realize we are a lot like the Pharisees, caught up in keeping people out rather than embracing the love of God for all people.  We're like Judas, tempted by the practical things of the world, worrying more about ourselves than anyone else.  And I hope tonight that we are also a lot like Mary who sought out ways to be a friend to Jesus, to adore the one who came to save her, no matter the cost.

The challenge is to listen more to the Spirit than we do to the Judas' in our midst.  Offering ourselves to this journey rather than remaining caught up in the dollars and sense.  May God move in and through our lives this week, as we watch and wait, journeying to the cross.  Amen.