My Spirit Groans.

I is 1:58 am on Saturday and I'm sitting in a pew, watching Home Alone and listening to the whispers of youth who just want to stay up a little longer. I'm looking at an empty stable that on Sunday will be filled with the laughter and voices of young children as they show us the Chistmas Story and we celebrate them and the presence of Christ. We've played games tonight: Roman Soldiers is the favorite. We have laughed and eaten lots, enjoyed one another's company. White Elephant gifts always bring out the competition in us, until we realize we are fighting over someone else's junk. My mind is filled with thoughts tonight as I live in the juxtaposition of crazy teens and the realization that so many families in Connecticut are missing a child at home tonight. Why would someone take the lives of kindergardeners? What would cause someone to want to murder their own mother? It doesn't make logical sense to us because it is not logical. There are no words to express to God the depth of our laments. It is not fair that life was cut short, yet here I am surrounded by life to the extreme. Why there? What happened in that young man's spirit that took him to the place where his life ended after senselessly murdering so many? I wonder about our healthcare system. I wonder how people who are mentally ill find the correct treatment. Hospitals keep folks for three days when they have episodes with mental illness, then they are referred to their local mental health folks. There are so many people in these systems that the counselors and psychiatrists cannot keep up. Drugs are handed out with little monitoring. State hospitals are in short supply. When many of these hospitals closed people became homeless and have learned to live outdoors. They don't fit the mold, they cannot hold jobs, they are often cycled in and out of jail. Mental illness is not an excuse to kill people, don't get me wrong. Nothing makes less sense than someone opening up fire in an elementary school. The world is getting more and more frightening which makes people less and less interested in trusting anyone or anything. In the midst of the anger and fear comes that Divine command, "Do not be afraid." in the midst of the waiting of advent, of the anticipation of family gatherings, presents, food, and faith we are called to transcend our humanity and reconnect with the Divine Love if God. Paul talks in Romans about the groans of our hearts. Even when we don't know what to pray God hears the groans of our Spirit. These groans communicate on our behalf, with the Master Creator. God is the one who those children saw first today as they began life-eternal. The loving embrace of Christ, the warmth of the Spirit...I imagine This was a moment when Jesus too wept with us. Folks, we have to take care if each other. We have to look out for one another. As Christians we must transcend the fear of our culture and hold fast to hope, joy, love, and peace. We must pray fervently and then some more, boldly trusting that God hears our prayer. May those affected by this horrible act of violence feel the very Presence of God in their midst. May they find the support they need to make it through the darkness of grief, pain, anger, and loss. And may we celebrate the unique young people in our lives by reminding them how much they are loved and valued.