An "In Your Face" Kind of Love.

Grandparents are a blessing.  To still have them in your life when you're 32 is something to be cherished.  I haven't been the best granddaughter for the last few years.  I have to admit that I've often chosen "work" over family, not to mention that they live 3 hours away from me.  Nevertheless I have always tried my best to spend time with them whenever possible.  They love to go out for breakfast.  I have wonderful memories of many a Bob Evans run on an early Saturday morning, and no matter where they moved or how things had changed they always made me feel like they were proud that I was their granddaughter.  I have special memories of them that will forever stay with me, like the smell of their house, the soft tick-tock of the grandfather clock in their living room, and the taste of the giant green olives from Grandpa's happy-hour Manhatten.  

For the first time in 66 years my grandparents are living in separate places.  Grandma's memory is failing as is her heart.  We're not sure how much longer she will be with us in this life and none of us want her to suffer.  I've been really concerned about her since the most recent move, especially in light of a recent hospital stay during which we uncovered the reason for her rapid memory loss:  small heart attacks.  On Friday I had the most wonderful opportunity to visit her in her new place.  As I entered into the dementia-unit there she was sitting at the table with the rest of the folks.  She wasn't sure why she was there, but was certain that she was supposed to go home (to Grandpa) and not stay there.  She wanted me to call him and find out when he would pick her up, where the car was parked, and why she was in this place.  As I looked into her eyes my heart hurt for her.  Here sat my strong grandmother, former Citizen's Bank head-honcho.  This is the woman who beat me at Rummikub a million times, the woman who loved to read, the one who cared for me when I was sick.  This time when I looked into her eyes I saw a scared child looking back at me, filled with confusion and short of breath.  

I know these things are facts of life.  I have been part of this journey for so many people, encouraging family members, even sharing in that most sacred journey as one transitions from this life into life eternal.  I know that my grandma knows Jesus, though we haven't ever really had a serious conversation about it.  I simply don't want her to feel afraid or abandoned by a family who loves her so much.  After visiting over supper we moved into the activity room where trivia questions led to Christmas Carols and devotions.  It was a blessing to my soul to be present while Grandma answered those questions and sang those songs.  She is still "in there".

Grandma and Grandpa were my #1 fans when I played basketball in high school.  They came to our games and made sure they encouraged us.  I'll never forget the moment I realized how important we (the grandkids) really were to Grandma.  She had been sitting near a fan from the "away" team that had been yelling "in your face" each time a basket was scored for our opposition.  "In your face!"  What an obnoxious thing to yell, right?!  It just so happened that we won that game, at which time my Grandma got up, got in that man's face and yelled, "In YOUR face!"  Imagine a nearly 70 year-old, white-haired, 5'3" lady yelling that at the top of her lungs.  Right then and there Grandma was a hero.  I realized that she probably would have yelled at him even if we'd lost...just because her love was that "in your face."  (Hence the Black & Orange...Go Fennville High School!)

It's real love when you're sitting in the bleachers and you just can't hardly stand that someone would pick on one of your family members.  It's the kind of love that is rooted in a deep respect and appreciation not just for the birthday parties and Christmas presents...the kind of love that's in your face whether you're on vacation in Florida together or sitting in the activity room of a nursing home.  

Grandma and I, giving her the prayer quilt from Lake Ann UMC. 

In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul speaks about our current situation of looking through a mirror dimly.  He proclaims that when Perfection comes, when Christ returns, we will then see things clearly.  My Grandma is in that dim space and the lights are getting dimmer.  My prayer is that in the dimness she reaches toward the light of Christ, the light of Peace and Love.  I also pray that though I am not sitting next to her she knows that I am proud of who she was and is, and that I am grateful for the strength that she instilled in all of us gals. 

That "In your face" kind of love and support is hard to find and can so often be taken for granted.  As we approach Christmas and ponder what present to buy or parties to attend, can we root ourselves in the quest to share this kind of love?  This is the kind of love that serves as the foundation for Christ's coming to earth as a child, a humble beginning for an "in your face" love.  Let's take some time to appreciate and encourage those we love.  Instead of giving more stuff can we take some time to just be present with each other?  Can we count Sacred the moments we have with our family members and friends?  

After all, that's what Christmas is really all about......"in your face...."