The Fog.

Ever feel like everyone else has it all together and you're still trying to figure it out?  I've been struggling with that a bit lately.  This thing called ministry is such a mysterious beast.  Just when I think I am getting a handle on it, just when I'm about to declare success, I find myself shrouded in the dense fog of trying to get people excited to worship God.  Just when I think our church is offering that program that's going to catch everyone's attention I realize that nobody really needs another thing to attend.  In the meantime I'm certain, I mean CERTAIN, that God is in our midst...and that makes it exciting.  


Within the mystery lies the opportunity.  Within the fog lies a clarity that only comes when I'm using my "God-vision" to see the people that trouble me the most.  As I look around at what the other churches are doing, as I compare myself with the pastors I respect and admire I can get to thinking that I must lack faith or wisdom as I try to lead my flock as I believe God desires.  


I'm SO grateful that throughout the history of God's people God has chosen to use the less-than-perfect to do great things.  I want to do great things in the name of the Kingdom.  I want to be the fragrance of Christ in the stinkiest of places.  I want to have the faith to be less concerned about myself and more concerned about what opportunities God is placing in front of me.  


Tonight I pray that God would help me to have immeasurable "humble-confidence" as I yearn to be the pastor God has created me to be.  I pray that I will live fully into that call and not get caught up in the struggles of comparison and fear.


May the roller coaster ride continue!