Lent Devotional: Day 4

Things I've learned today:

1)  It is still possible for an entire plane full of people to disappear.
2) Another small town has lost an elite athlete to an enlarged heart, much like what happened in Fennville.
3) No matter how old you are, when a child gives you a plate of plastic food you will pretend like you are eating it.  

I've been watching the news and receiving the updates about the Malaysian flight that vanished last night.  It is hard to imagine that something as important as a plane with over 227 people on it could just disappear.  With all of our cameras and satellites its a wonder that any part of this earth is not in view at all times.  As the time passes it becomes more clear that this plane went down in the ocean, a tragedy of huge proportion.  These were people of many different nationalities, and two were only infants.  How very sad for all lost, and it seems even worse for these two tiny children whose future will remain a mystery.  

At the same time another community in Michigan mourns the death of an amazing athlete and young man, who died in his sleep from an enlarged heart.  This is the same condition that caused the death of Wes Leonard, the young man who died following a basketball game, changing the lives of many in  my small hometown, Fennville.  Without symptoms an enlarged heart can go undetected, this young man died in his sleep.  He had already been accepted to Westpoint and had maintained a 4.0 gpa. A child anyone would have been proud of, a  young man his community loved and supported. 

This afternoon I attended my niece's 2nd birthday party.  She's changed so much in the last year, but will always be the most awesome kid around (yes, I am biased.)  She is so cute that I find myself just staring at her, listening to her new words, wanting to cheer her on as she learns to color and shoot baskets.  She is such a gift to us, an unexpected gift for which we are all so grateful.  She teaches me to slow down a bit and enjoy the simple things, like cooking up plastic meals in her little kitchen or the absolute joy that comes from throwing a ball and catching it.  

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus talks about the importance of these young ones: 

18   At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

It is just like adults to wonder, "Who is the greatest?"  It seems we get caught up in ranking one another, categorizing people, putting them in their right places/priorities.  Not only do we want to know who the greatest is, we want it to be us.  We want people to recognize us for our contributions to society or our successes in this world.  Here is Jesus telling the disciples that if they really want to get it, to understand what the kingdom of heaven is all about, then they need to like children.  

It is clear that we never know when our time here on earth may be up.  As we age I am sure this becomes a more common part of our thoughts.  Children don't think like this, do they?  Children think about the moment, the game they're playing, the person they are spending time with.  The minutes matter, the relationships matter, life matters.  

In the midst of more tragedy than we can fully grasp we can do our best to pray diligently for all experiencing the pain of such magnificent loss.  We can reach out in love for our brothers and sisters in the world, while sharing our love with those close to home.  And, I hope you too can grasp on to the excitement of life through the eyes of a child handing you a plate with a plastic pizza and a doughnut.  

May we be open to the love of God as a child, without hesitation or reservation.  As we enter into the last moments of Jesus' life on earth, may we also give thanks for the gift of eternity, allowing us to see these tragic losses as more than just the end.  

Prayer:  Dear God, today we have been blessed, while others in the world have suffered.  We pray you will be with each of these families, offering the strength and peace that can only come from You.  Help us to remember that each day is a gift full of opportunities to see You at work.  Help us to set aside the boundaries and limits of "begin adults" so that we can experience the awe and wonder of the love you offer.  Thank you for loving us.  Amen.  

Lent Devotional: Day Three

Ever have one of those days that seems to go on forever?  Usually these are the days when you are working or doing some task that might not be your favorite.  Today has been like this for me.  I was bitten by the flu-bug last night which translated to a very low-key day today.  I can't remember the last time I have been this still, resting, watching daytime television, letting Chunk outside and back in.  The sunshine streaming through the windows makes me want to get out there and enjoy it!  It felt like a heat wave today, though I know it was only near 40 degrees.  (Anybody get their shorts out yet?)  

Silence and stillness have never been very welcomed parts in my faith journey.  I have been teased and challenged by many who encourage me to develop that part of my life, but I'd much rather put on some music or get together with a group of people.  This is one of the things that challenges me about seasons like Advent and Lent, the waiting and call to be still before the Lord.  

Psalm 46 says:

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

While watching the news today I learned of the death of a young hockey player with a bright future.  He died in his sleep.  It is easy in times like this to wonder why or to question God.  This Psalm speaks to our desire to know the answers, while affirming the powerful presence of God.  Even in the midst of loss, grief, and pain we can trust in the strength of the Almighty!  

When is the last time you were still before God? Are there places in your life that seem to be in turmoil?  Are there deep questions to which you long for answers?  How is God speaking to you?  Won't it be a wonderful day when God is exalted among the nations and earth and we know what it means to live in true peace.  


Prayer:  God, today I give you thanks for the beauty of creation.  I thank you for your continued faithfulness to me and those I love.  I pray for peace this day in the many places where there is war, strife, and persecution.  In the midst of my busy days help me to be still and hear your voice in my life. Amen.  

Lent Devotional: Day 2

"Hear my prayer, Lord;

    let my cry for help come to you.

2 

Do not hide your face from me

    when I am in distress.

Turn your ear to me;

    when I call, answer me quickly."

This, the opening stanza to Psalm 102 speaks of one crying out for help.  The Psalmist asks that God be quickly present in the midst of distress.  Today I have been reflecting on prayer.  Prayer certainly takes a lot of faith and trust, doesn't it?  We believe in the power of prayer because we have read of it in Scripture, we believe because we have witnessed the movement of the Spirit in our lives and the lives of others.    How have you powerfully witnessed the presence and power of God through faithful prayer?

Another passage that stood out to me today comes from Psalm 37:

Trust in the Lord and do good;

    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 

Take delight in the Lord,

    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 

Commit your way to the Lord;

    trust in him and he will do this:

6 

He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,

    your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 

Be still before the Lord

    and wait patiently for him;

While our previous verses spoke of one crying out, yearning for God; this passage speaks about "delighting in the Lord."  What do you think it means to delight in the Lord?  While these two Scripture passages may seem very different, I think they have much in common.  So often we fail to cry out to God until we have exhausted all other possibilities.  It isn't until we run out of ideas, or hit a stumbling block that we recognize our need for God's powerful presence in our lives.   Part of a living faith relationship with God is the challenge to "commit our way to the Lord," to "delight" and "be still" in order that we give to God our whole selves.  

How do you delight in the Lord?  What does that mean for you?  Are you in a place where love enters only through crying out?  No matter where we find ourselves this Lent, we are given an opportunity to both cry and be filled with delight.  Take some time today to reflect on your faith journey.  Which parts are most joy-filled, which parts have been most difficult?  How has your faith helped you in those times of crying out?  What would you need in order to truly delight in the Lord?  

Prayer:  God, sometimes I feel so far away.  Help me to learn to delight in You.  Help me to see you, to feel you, and to be open to the Spirit's movement in my life.  Help me to cry out with child-like confidence, and to be filled with delight and patience like the many faithful saints that have gone before me.  May I too be a witness for you this day and always.  Amen.  

Day One: Ash Wednesday

Today we begin the season of Lent, a time of inward reflection and discernment. We mark the 40-day journey of Jesus into the wilderness, taking time to pause and think about the wilderness in which we often find ourselves.  Throughout this season it is my goal to write and offer a daily devotion.  My prayer is that this will challenge you as it also challenges me to spend daily time in Scripture.  Thank you for joining me on this journey!

I never really thought Lent was a big deal until I ended up with a devout Christian roommate in college.  She was involved with one of the more conservative chapel groups on campus and started talking about "giving something up for Lent."  At that time in my life I was not focused on anything religious and would joke about "becoming a pastor" just to tease her.  (Oh how life throws you curve balls sometimes!)  She was serious about her faith and Lent was a part of growing and challenging the "comfort zones" and "boxes" in which she lived it out.  So I decided that I would join in and would stop eating chocolate until Easter.  

A few evenings later I was up until the wee hours of the morning writing some sort of paper.  On my desk sat some Hershey Kisses.  The temptation was calling out to me, and my first thought was, "No one will ever know."  I don't remember if I ate them or not, but I probably did.  The absurdity of thinking that I was "hiding-out" now makes me chuckle.  That is what Ash Wednesday is all about:  recognizing that before God nothing is hidden.  Today we mark our foreheads with ashes made from the Palms waved last Palm Sunday. We remember that it is from dust we came, and to dust we will return.  We are confronted by our mortality, and begin to think about God's love for us, our need for forgiveness, and what it means to be "living sacrifices." (Romans 12:1) 

Aside from giving something up, or adding something in to your life, what possibilities does Lent 2014 hold for you?  What disciplines will lead you to experience the joy of new life and resurrection on Easter?  What meaningful soul-stretching might you embark upon today?

The Scripture reading for today is Psalm 51.  I encourage you to read it in your own Bible and mark it up, reflect on what it says to you.  Below you will find this Scripture from The Message version, one of my favorites.   

Psalm 51

1-3 Generous in love—God, give grace!

    Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.

Scrub away my guilt,

    soak out my sins in your laundry.

I know how bad I’ve been;

    my sins are staring me down.

4-6 

You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen

    it all, seen the full extent of my evil.

You have all the facts before you;

    whatever you decide about me is fair.

I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,

    in the wrong since before I was born.

What you’re after is truth from the inside out.

    Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

7-15 

Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,

    scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.

Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,

    set these once-broken bones to dancing.

Don’t look too close for blemishes,

    give me a clean bill of health.

God, make a fresh start in me,

    shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.

Don’t throw me out with the trash,

    or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,

    put a fresh wind in my sails!

Give me a job teaching rebels your ways

    so the lost can find their way home.

Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,

    and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.

Unbutton my lips, dear God;

    I’ll let loose with your praise.

16-17 

Going through the motions doesn’t please you,

    a flawless performance is nothing to you.

I learned God-worship

    when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love

    don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

Prayer for Today:  Gracious God today I come before you as an open book.  You know my heart and mind.  Create in me a clean heart, help me to receive the gift of forgiveness.  Draw near to me as I draw near to you.  Amen.

Seeing the ME in THEM.

I have failed miserable at writing lately, as you can tell if you notice that I haven't written since July. I've been making that "I just moved" transition, which has taken me a lot longer than I like.  A new church to serve = a new place to live, new friends (and some old ones too!), new rhythm, and for me a lot of focus on my own understanding of who God is and how God can & is at work in the world.  Spiritually speaking this move has really challenged me to dig into the roots of my calling, to reflect on who I am in Christ.  

Today I decided to write because I need your help.  For those who don't know, the UMC has again made the news.  You can read about it on most of the major news websites - Washington Post, ABC, etc.  Basically a UMC elder (fully-ordained and credentialed pastor) performed a wedding ceremony for his gay son & partner.  Though the debate has raged on for what seems like forever, our current polity does not allow for homosexual person to be ordained, nor does it recognize or allow civil unions/marriage ceremonies between people of the same sex.  

The debate as I see it basically boils down to two groups of pastors:  1)Those who uphold our Book of Discipline, believing that homosexuality is a choice & a sin (Biblically interpreted) and 2) Those of us who believe that persons are born this way and should not be penalized/discriminated against no matter what our "policies" say.  This debate goes far beyond the conservative/liberal, republican/democrat debates that we often have.  This debate seems to have actually moved into a place that divides us with only the mention of a word.  

On Facebook there is a group called UM Clergy - the debate rages on in this group.  Most of the time I ignore the posts - but last night as I was trying to catch up on the day's news with regard to this pastor's trial.  I read the posts - they were all about this pastor and the punishment he is to receive (today I think).  The language in the posts was filled with hatred, ignorance, and blame.  Some think that anyone who "goes against the polity of the church" should have their job and credentials revoked.  "They deserve it because they have broken the covenant to which they committed."

All day long I've thought about this.  While ten years ago I may have thought differently, ministry practice has taught me so much about people and the human condition....and myself.  I'm so far from being Christ-minded most of the time.  When I was ordained I was told to "take thou authority" - and I said yes to the question that I believed I could be perfected in love.  But as each day rolls on I find that I'm certainly less-than-perfect in love.  I'm so often so full of myself & the world that I forget to nurture the image of God that exists in me.  It's kind of ironic that we pastors can get so busy doing God's work that we actually forget to spend time with God.  Unfortunately what I think is happening now is that people are so certain that they are right, that they couldn't imagine God wouldn't agree with them.  Having God agree with "my opinion" gives me the unfortunate confidence to proclaim what "God thinks"  and "what God will do."

While I think that the UMC is of God and one vessel though which the Kingdom of God is brought to earth, I'm pretty sure that the Book of Discipline wasn't God's idea.  I'm pretty sure that it's a guide for those of us who take those ordination vows and go through that long process of being affirmed by our peers for ordination with similar theology and intentions of the UMC.  I'm also pretty sure that it must not be taken as God's literal and infallible word for the church.  Times change, people change...advances are made medically which we don't deny - so why are we having such a hard time believing (what John Wesley certainly knew all along) that God's grace is in everyone, working in and through everyone, and that no matter how imperfect we are or "they" are we must take time to discern God's will and the Spirit's movement.  The Book of Discipline may be our polity but that doesn't mean it's always (forever and ever) going to line up with the will of God for the UMC.  Think about it, I'm a woman pastor..that required some significant change.  

While it seems that this issue is the one that divides us, it is certainly a larger issue.  However, the division and tension only increase as time passes.  I'm SO tired of it.  Rather than utilize the differences to widen the ministry base we are stuck waiting to see...what will happen, who will move first, how can we convince the "other" that we are really correct.  I'm telling you that there will be peace in the Middle East before we all get along, or at least that's what it feels like.

I'm 33, been a pastor since 25 - and potentially could serve until 70.  That's too long to serve a "structure" that doesn't practice what it preaches.  It's too difficult to empower lay people to go and love their neighbor when the hierarchy and pastors of the denomination cannot do the same.  I have given my life to this calling, to this denomination, to trust my superiors and say yes to itinerancy.  I fear I may be the next one who doesn't live a life following all the details of the BOD, it's only a matter of time until someone figures out I'm a sinful human, after all.  What are the options?  Will we have a church split?  How can those of us who are ready commit to the Wesleyan understandings of grace and perfection and move on?  What do we do, friends?  How do we do it?  What does it take for something to give?  

In the meantime our denomination shrinks.  Young people look at us and laugh.  Why would they want to serve/attend a denomination that can't get it together.  We will die because some people want to be right.  And in the meantime I wonder....in the name of God who are we hurting the most.  For this we will all be accountable.  Pretty scary.

Knowing what I don't know

"Then he taught me, and he said to me,

    “Take hold of my words with all your heart;

    keep my commands, and you will live.

5 

Get wisdom, get understanding;

    do not forget my words or turn away from them.

6 

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;

    love her, and she will watch over you.

7 

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get[a] wisdom.

    Though it cost all you have,[b] get understanding.

8 

Cherish her, and she will exalt you;

    embrace her, and she will honor you.

9 

She will give you a garland to grace your head

    and present you with a glorious crown.”  

Proverbs 4:4-9

Today I'm weary of all the new in my life.  New places, new people, new personalities.  I am good with people, but beginning again in a new place is sort of like selling a good used car.  No matter what is really happening in my soul & mind my exterior is saying "Hi! I'm so happy to meet you!  I can't wait to get to know more about you!"  All of the new is making me doubt what I know.  Not necessarily what I know about the church, but what I know about myself.  It's all those 11pm thoughts that rattle my brain making it hard to sleep that capture my confidence and fill me with doubt.  It's in times like this when I turn to faith and those sacred "touched-by-God" experiences in my life. It's in these transitions that I realize how much I don't know...and rely on the wisdom of God to lend me a hand.

Hearth to Hearth Ministries is another area in which I would ask for your prayers and help.  As you probably have read previously, about 2 1/2 years ago I became the Exec. Director for three orphanages in Africa.  Due to some mismanagement and embezzling of funds the organization was in dire straights back then. I felt it was only the right thing to do for me to take it on, as I love the children and staff people working in Africa so very much.  This week after paying our monthly expenses, our general fund has neared only $10,000.  This means that we only have enough funding to cover one or two months.  The rising costs of food, paying fare wages to the staff, and repairing and rehab-ing structures that were built improperly has nearly shut the ministry down.  

In addition my team here in the US, all volunteers, has faced some struggle as members of our team deal with family and health issues.  I do not know what to do.  I cannot allow 150 children and adults to simply lose that which sustains their lives.  I do not have the skills for fundraising or networking and we do not have funds to pay people who do.  

So, I'm asking all of you to help (at least the few who read this!)  We need your smarts...we need your connections.  Could we come and share about HTHM to your church, small groups, mission committees?  Would you be interested in sponsoring a child ($30/month?)  Could you help me find a larger organization to partner with, in order that we don't lose this ministry that is changing lives?

Lord, I pray you will pour out your wisdom upon us.  Give us insight into your plans for these children, these churches, these families.  Help us to see others as you see them.  Fill us with a love that moves us into action.  Amen.

Ministry is Moving

With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort. (1 Corinthians 15:58 MSG)

Stand firm.  This is a phrase I've been repeating in my mind for the last week or so.  Stand firm.  Trust in The Lord.  Don't lose hope.  I have thought a lot about the ministry of Jesus.  It wasn't a long ministry in terms of time, but the impact of the ministry that happened during those three years has changed lives ever since.  It was ministry in the midst of chaos.  Sure, the chaos may have been different but chaos none the less.  

In the last two weeks my life has been turned a bit upside down.  Life as a pastor never ceases to amaze me.  There are those days when you just think working as a Walmart greeter would be such a welcome respite.  Then there are those moments when you know that you stand right in the presence of God.  In between those ordinary days are filled with Sacred moments, great challenges, despair & hope all at the same time.  It's a strange thing serving God in this way, answering a call that comes as a surprise and dedicating your life to serving God with your all.  As an extrovert (like one that might tip the scales) I love the relational part of ministry.  While it certainly isn't always easy, it is what fascinates me most about Creation.  We are all so unique and yet we can all work together, even when we don't agree.  It's this love of people that makes my life really hard when big changes occur.

I'm heading toward the finish line of my eighth year of ministry.  Only five years ago I finished the process of Ordination and fully committed my life to serving the local church.  Along with that, as a true believer in Wesleyan Theology I signed on the dotted line...I agree to be itinerant.  That means, I agree to move as I am needed.  I agree to go and serve where my gifts line up with a local church's needs.  I believe this is a good system...well most of the time.  Itinerancy demands a lot of trust in and respect for those who serve at the higher level of ministry in the UMC.  I have to place my trust in those who meet around the table with our Bishop to determine next steps for churches and pastors.  I have to believe that this process is about more than "filling slots" and that it is grounded in prayer and the movement of the Holy Spirit.  I must "trust the process."  This is really easy to do when you plan to stay at the church you are currently serving.  

Then comes the phone call out of the blue.  "You are going to receive an appointive call in the next 12 hours."  Ugh.  Yikes.  No!  These were my initial reactions last week when I heard those words.  "I'm not ready to leave," I thought.  "I love it here."  

You see, in the last five years a church that housed many burdened souls, people that had been beaten down spiritually, and people who were afraid their church wouldn't make it...flourished.  God has been so active in our lives that I think we have almost taken it for granted.  Huge mortgage payments have been made, ministry has grown on a dime, new faces smile on Sunday as we sing, pray, and laugh together.  God has blessed us...together.  I have had the great joy of being a part of this ministry, the joy of preaching about grace and love to people that really believe God is working in their lives...and that they can go out and make the world a better place in Christ's name.  

The very appointment that pastors dreaded...going to a broken & hurt church...is the appointment that I could stay in forever.  

But I can't...  I'm being called to something new!  My beloved church is also being called to new opportunities!  God demands that we continue on.  We can't just sit back and build bigger barns...there is more in store for all of us.  

So, I am moving!  I will be the pastor at the First UMC of South Haven.  Who'd have thought?  A church only minutes from my family.  A blessing I did not see coming!  A church much like Lake Ann, that is full of people who want to worship and be the hands and feet of Christ.  

So now I enter that weird place of the "in-between."  The dreaded goodbyes and the overwhelming nature of a new place, moving, and starting a new ministry.  But the thing is, though our relationships will be different, we will continue to work together as the Body of Christ.  I am so grateful for my experiences in Lake Ann.  I can only hope that I will have that same amount of fun in South Haven.  

So if you're reading this and you're really sad/mad/disappointed in the fact that things are changing please STAND FIRM.  And if you're reading this and your overjoyed that something new is happening....please STAND FIRM.

Together we will trust in God's good work, guidance, and love as we live each day to the fullest. 

Blessings my friends!