Listening...

Kneeling Ministers

 Often these days, people in my life will ask me if I have ever considered starting my own church.  I have never fancied myself much of a church-planter, as I'm not sure I have the confidence or creativity required.  My standard response though, involves a great respect and desire for accountability.  I have followed in the wake of a pastor who was left unaccountable and in his process of leaving, he deeply hurt the beloved people who stayed behind because they did not agree with his agenda.  I have watched along with you as pastors on power trips end up giving the Body of Christ a bad name, who claim a handle on scriptural interpretation or kingdom politics for which  I'm not sure any of us have righteous authority. For as much as the denominational system is messy (especially in the UMC these days), there is a gift in the checks and balances it provides - meaning that none of us can go too far off the rails without someone we love, or at least someone who has authority in our service, checking us on our motives.  I experienced the gift of this system most recently when I cried out to a compassionate Bishop Bard in what was really one of the hardest moments in my life and ministry.  I experience the life-long gift of staying in relationship with my colleagues and friends on nearly an everyday basis.  That's why, for me, serving Jesus has led me into a system - it is flawed, for sure - but it does have its beneficial points.  That's why, even in the midst of the battle for a truly inclusive UMC, I haven't just cut and run toward another theological home.  

I experienced accountability of a different sort recently, when one of my Wesley House alumni sent me a message asking me if  in the wake of George Floyd's death I was addressing the harsh realities of racism with my mostly-white-middle-class-congregation.  She, a twenty-something black woman, wanted to challenge me to be bold and brave and not skirt difficult issues because they might be unpopular with the traditional church crowd.  She wanted to make sure that I practice what I preach with regard to racism and loving my neighbor regardless of their skin color, sexual orientation, or any other thing that separates us these days.  I appreciated her willingness to challenge me, because she was calling me to live into Christ's example and she was doing it with compassion and integrity.

I learned in middle school that a system of checks and balances is at the foundation of our national government.  The legislative, executive, and judicial branches exist to provide a balance of power.  As I read the news this week I pondered what has happened to this system, and what has happened to us? I watched as moments of the RNC glorified violence against black people - by claiming that a vote for Trump will protect law-abiding Americans and limit the "violent anarchists, agitators, and criminals who threaten our citizens."  The only violent anarchist I saw this week was a seventeen year old white guy in red, white, and blue crocs with a racist agenda and a long rifle.  The main agitator of violence and unrest seems to be our tweeting president who goes out of his way to stir people up and dehumanize. 

All of this fell on the same week as the 57th anniversary of MLK Jr.'s I Have a Dream speech.   The gathering in Washington turning into a peaceful protest calling for police reform and an end to racism.  Of course people are protesting - what else can be done when the system of checks and balances has fallen apart?  What else can you do when nobody will listen, when you are powerless in the machine of a system that has lost its ability to hold anyone accountable? 

Perhaps the Mike Pence Revised Standard Version of Scripture gets at the root of this problem.  Rather than running the race fixing our eyes on Jesus, he encouraged us to keep our eyes on Old Glory and all she represents.  What does it mean to be an American Citizen right now?  What are the most important aspects of this blessing?  Are we most blessed by the right to bear arms, or the freedom of speech, and what about separation of church and state? I fear we have reduced ourselves to the selfish ideals that claim "as long as I'm ok, I don't have to care about anyone else."  We have seen this ethic so clearly during this pandemic as people looking out for #1 forgot that their neighbors may have needs too (even if it is just for TP).  

I learned early on in my life that we are only as strong as our weakest person.  This was pressed into me on nearly every sports team I ever played.  It challenged the strongest players to assist and care for those who just needed a little more encouragement.  This thread has been woven into nearly every aspect of my life since, and as a white woman I am recognizing the depth of privilege I bear just because of the color of my skin and where I was born.  I have learned that what is perceived as weakness is rarely that, and to listen to people's stories because we are not all given equal opportunities.  Unfortunately, it has taken the events of the last few years for me to realize that saying nothing places me on the side of the oppressor and that I must do whatever I can to learn about anti-racism and just how to be an ally of the black community. 

This morning I found myself in downtown Birmingham on the Civil Rights Heritage Trail. I stopped by the historic locations of the 1963 Civil Rights movement, where black persons were beaten, sprayed with firehoses, and chased by dogs as they fought for their human rights.  I want to understand how we can be at this place again in our society, I want someone to really explain to me how Christian people can deny white privilege and support racist policies.  I want to be told why, in the name of Jesus, loving our neighbor somehow means loving the people that look and act and think like us.  I have listened and kept silent as persons I love explain to me that our President's awful behavior deserves a free pass because our stocks have gone up.  What does it mean to make America great again?  If it means that as long as I have more money I forgive any other offense, or that I agree with refugees being put in cages and losing their children, or that the inconvenience of wearing a mask outweighs the safety of another human....if this is a great America, it feels so contrary to Christ's call that I can't make sense of it.  If calls to redistribute funds used for policing can strengthen our ability to deal with the mental health crisis, should we not try it? If you're reading this and you're convinced I'm wrong, please explain it to me - please explain to me how greed has become the great catalyst for our existence these days.  I genuinely want to understand. 

I am the daughter of a Vietnam Green Beret who's life has been altered by the effects of war. I respect the strength of this nation.  In a few months we will bury my father with Old Glory  draped over his ashes.  My Dad was so proud of his military comrades and accomplishments, it defined his entire life.  I hope that what my Dad fought for, and his pride in this country, was rooted in the very ideals on which this country was founded: that all persons are created equal.  Wouldn't America really be great if we looked at all persons as equals, made in the very imagine of our Loving God, if justice were independent of skin color? 

For my black friends, know that you are not alone.  I am listening....for ways to learn, engage and support you.  For my white friends, are you listening...for ways to learn, engage, and support others?  We really must be in this work together.   

I ended my time this morning with the end verses of Psalm 139 - which continues to be a guiding prayer for me these days:

Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 

See if there is any offensive way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting.

May it be so.

Devon

 

Updates

It has been about a month since I posted anything on Facebook, and much longer than that since I have written anything in this space.  I needed to get small for a bit, to focus on the movement of the Spirit and to listen.  So many of you have reached out to me to check on me, wondering if I am ok...worrying a bit that I have lost my Jesus or am falling apart.  I thank you for your hearts filled with love for me.  The answer is yes to both of those things....a bit.  Let me explain.

The Jesus I have always loved is one that marks the world with a call to deeply connected community, a Savior that has no strings attached to the unwavering love poured out for all of humanity.  I came to understand this Jesus back in confirmation class when I learned that faith was much less about following some prescribed rules and more about being transformed into something beyond our limited understanding of the God potential within each of us.  This understanding of Jesus was engrained in me by the people of my small United Methodist church, the one I had literally grown up in.  I was ordained an Elder in the UMC exactly ten years (to the day, I think) after I had been confirmed in that little church that had become a crucial part of my identity.  While I had no idea when I left for college that two years later I would be struggling to embrace God's call to ministry, I did know that my spiritual life was something that needed tending while I was there.  God has repeatedly surrounded me with the right people at the right time.  In college, God-with-skin-on looked like our campus chaplain, Vern, and the local pastor at the UMC, Wayne.  God also looked like the handsome Catholic priest who taught some of our classes, like the friends who encouraged me to trust that yes, God's call was real, even though I felt so inadequate.   

Inadequacy has been a theme running through my head since before I even knew what it was doing to me.  As a student athlete this feeling led me to work so hard to excel in sports, to get good grades, to be in the school plays and student government...as a pastor this thread of thinking fueled the mentality that nothing was ever quite enough, leading to more events, more self-criticism, expectations that I could never meet.  This Jesus that called me to make sure people grasped onto the breadth and depth of grace and love, became unattainable for me, wrapped up in people-pleasing success, and fearful, numbers-driven leadership.  This Jesus was embedded inside the denominational system for which I had sold out as a child.  Don't get me wrong, I am a United Methodist in the deepest parts of my understanding of who I am.  I believe in prevenient, justifying and sanctifying grace and their powerful movement in every step of our lives.  I believe in a connectional church that can change the world because it works together to eradicate diseases like malaria, a church that is on the front lines of disaster relief, a church that embodies Micah's call to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly.  The depth of my broken-heartedness at the actions of my people at the last General Conference caused me to question not only what I represent as a UMC pastor, but also who I am and who I want to be in this world.  I can't serve a system at the expense of my integrity as a Jesus-follower.  I can't fight slippery battles with people who continue to use Scripture as a weapon, declaring God's word to be literal though it was never intended to be that way.  I don't know how to handle attitudes of chosen ignorance that support racist policies, harming children and the oppressed, in the name of upholding white-capitalist-Jesus.  

So yes...I have lost my Jesus.  The nice-tidy, follow-the-rules-and-get-to-heaven, God is good all the time, in-the-box Jesus.  I can't play that game anymore, because I have far more questions these days than I do answers.  Losing my Jesus has led me to fall apart, to crack open the success-driven, ambitious pastor that I have been for the last 15 years, the woman who chose career and meeting unattainable expectations over nearly everything else.  And in the unravelling and questioning God is boldly present, and I am learning to embrace who I fully am with grace and joy.  It is hard and ugly, and a lot of people in my life just won't understand, and it's scary trusting in the space of unknowing...but what I have begun to embrace, for the first time in my life, is the profound power of being loved. I continue to wake up each morning filled with gratitude.  

The call to do whatever I can to foster encounters with Christ, to develop and engage people spiritually, to lead and sing and praise...that call rings loudly in my ears.  This month away from the pulpit, spent doing work that is uncomfortable and challenging has only clarified God's call for me.  And again, God has surrounded me with people that are grace-filled, genuine and kind, friends in every sense of the word.  

In the true spirit of making the best of this year, I have accepted a chaplaincy residency as of last week.  By the end of August I will find my way down to the University of Alabama-Birmingham where I will spend the year serving as a chaplain at the UAB Hospital, being stretched to learn and embrace more of my authentic self and what it means to live out this call in a new and different context.  I have just a couple weeks to find a place to live, deal with my stuff, and find a foster home for two of the most amazing kitties on the planet.  Scary?  You bet.  But the thing is, God is in the scary.  

I continue to pray for my beloved UMC, because there is no other place I want to serve.  I continue to pray that the Christian community will stop worrying so much about expanding hell's reach and sending people there, and start focusing more on expanding the reach of life-changing love, as exemplified in the daily life and conversations of Jesus.   God is not done with us yet, and there is always room for hope....always.  

So, my dear friends, all is well.  I deeply appreciate your prayers and concern, please know that I am praying for you, too. 

Let's love like Jesus.

Devon

  

Discernment

 

I am generally up for a good adventure.  In fact, one of my most favorite things is to hike or bike a brand new trail.  There is something sort of magical about seeing new places and experiencing things that only those who step off the beaten path will see.  We can experience so much of creation up close and personal via the internet, but there is nothing quite like jumping off the top of a waterfall, or walking between the tall walls of a canyon in Arizona.  I will say though, that often when I am on these adventures fear becomes a companion.  

I want to know where I am going, have a map or guide that reminds me how to get back to my car, and when possible, a cell phone just in case.  Often though, accurate maps aren't available or there's something magnificent just a ways off the trail.  And it's in these moments that we step off the path, with a little bit of excitement and fear about what may lie ahead.  

I've always thought a life-journey road map would be kind of nice.  One that showed the path to living abundantly as God has designed, with bends in the road and undoubtedly a few U-Turns along the way.  But one that would show us the steps we should take to reach the finish line well.  

What I'm talking about fundamentally, is the process of discernment.  Discernment does not always come easy for me.  When I long for God to tell me out loud what step to take, or the next move to make with the church, I rarely slow down long enough to even hear God whisper.  I have recently come to realize just how loud every other voice has gotten in my life, at the expense of peace, rest, and even living authentically.  

In the midst of all the chaos with this virus,  the literal doors of the church being locked up, and trying to figure out how to do the best virtual ministry possible, I found myself having to stop, listen, and get grounded again in my role as God's beloved.  This has always been a hard sell for me - I can tell you all how much God loves and adores you, wants you to live fully and love boldly...but for me to receive that same unconditional love is such a challenge.  

I am wired to care for others, to listen well, to do whatever I can to make people happy.  These are great traits for a pastor, right?  However, I often do all of these things at the expense of balance, and family, and friends.  This year when things were really difficult personally I worked even harder and spent longer hours constantly trying to plan and do more...because that is what I know how to do, that's what comes easy for me.  It wasn't until this perfect storm all came together at the end of March that I had to finally stop and listen for the movement of the Holy Spirit.  It spoke very clearly to me and through some people who are very close to me....and what I heard made me realize that I have been doing this life thing wrong, that no matter how hard I work, or how successful I am professionally, whether churches I serve flourish or decline, if I define who I am by what I accomplish, I've got it all wrong.  

I dropped a bomb on my church folks on Sunday, letting them know that I am going to be stepping away from ministry for a time of discernment and clarification of God's call on my life.  The only way I could see to gain a healthier balance and perspective is to make some space to listen and get reminded of that one simple truth, that no matter how many hours I work, no matter what gets accomplished or doesn't - I am God's beloved.  (You are too....) From that springs the rest of life, and the path forward, and a better work/life balance.  

I am reminded of this passage from Proverbs:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

    he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message

I wonder if you have done some discerning lately, if you hear God clearly these days?  I'm about to take a giant step off the beaten path, letting God speak life into my Spirit, trusting that although the roadmap is unclear, it is leading me to new understandings of myself and who I am called to be in this crazy world of ours.  I hope the Spirit is leading you into new territory, too.

For now though, my prayer is simple.  May we listen and hear the movement of the Holy Spirit louder than all the other voices, and not be afraid to heed it's call. Amen.

Love to you this night,

Pastor Devon 

Wilderness Moments

Today at about 3:30 I was in my office staring at my computer and realized that I was just plain done.  I had been working on the same page of the same document for an hour and had not really gotten anywhere.  It was getting frustrating, and that only made it harder to get anything done.  Have you been there?  

So, I'm not going to write much tonight, except to ask you if you've hit walls like this during this isolated time.  In my head, it seems like I should be having all sorts of free time....but in reality time is different, but things take so much longer.  I have read about our brains during this time, how we enter into this self-preservation thinking because we are really trying to process the trauma of all this change and fear and unknown.  And I have definitely come to realize that my brain is not working as fast as I'd like it to, and am trying to show myself a lot of grace these days.

I think that we might consider this time wilderness time.  Like the Israelites who set out on a journey to an unknown place, trusting that God's promise of goodness would come to fruition.  They didn't know all the details of the journey, they had to trust the Moses was being led by God.  They complained and groaned...and Moses often turned to God with his own complaints and frustrations.  God's leading presence was visible to them, and Moses made sure of that in Exodus 33:

12 Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ 13 If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.”14 The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” 15 Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. 16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

Moses was adamant that he would not move the people until he knew the direction God desired. God's reply was, "my presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." There is something deeply restful about allowing God to lead, trusting that God goes before us as we navigate this wilderness journey. Today I was reminded of the gift of peace and rest that God offers even when I am frustrated at my own limitations.

In this wilderness time, how can we become more aware of God's leading presence? Are you yearning for the peace and rest that comes with discerning God's movement? Are you offering yourself grace in the difficult moments? I hope so.

Rest well, friends.

Pastor Devon

God > What we Know.

In seminary, the class that often sounded the scariest was systematic theology.  I found this to be the most fascinating class, because it offered me glimpses into how different people throughout history made sense of what God has accomplished and is accomplishing. From the beginning of time humans have tried to make sense of how we came to be, and early church debates and councils tried to determine the ins and outs of all things theological and scriptural.  

We can certainly understand that our Scriptures themselves are comprised of layers of interpretation, and that as we read and seek to understand we too are interpreting through the lenses of our own traditions, reason, and experience (shout out to the Wesleyan Quadrilateral).  For me, understanding Scripture in this way only adds to the mystery and power of it, as we are still being inspired by the Holy Spirit to see it with fresh eyes and perspectives.  

I remember after reading volumes of Karl Barth's systematic theology that he came to the conclusion that this was his best attempt at making sense of it all, but that there was room for error.  By that point, I sort of wanted it all tied up in certainty...and yet he and all theologians realize that there is still much to be discovered about God and God's revelation in creation.  

Many Christians value certainty over mystery.  This insistence on certainty is something I  find myself struggling to figure out.  I don't want a God that I can fully know, I don't want a faith that leads me to a system of rule following with a great prize at the end.  I love the conversations we have during Bible studies where people can wrestle with the process of discernment, pondering and being challenged to listen to God for tough answers.  I love the opportunity to learn from one another's experiences before we define God in a certain way, or to be confronted that my understanding of God may be too much a reflection of me.
  
I think it was in that same systematic theology class where I was taught to ask the  most valuable question:  What if you're wrong?  I think about that often when people ask me what a certain Scripture passage means, or how I interpret what God's doing (or not doing) in a certain situation.  It has also led me to keep another question in mind which is:  Is what I am going to say going to cause harm to someone?  

The Gospel is definitely meant to challenge us, mold us, and define how we live out our faith in Christ.  It is not meant to be used as a weapon, or a tool to shame or scare.  For far too long Christians have scared people into believing in Jesus, leaving them with an understanding that God is this cosmic angry parent looking to discipline at every turn.  When I look through the lens of what Jesus said and did, I recognize that he never brought shame upon anyone.  He held people accountable and compassionately led them to a change in perspective, which in turn taught people a new way of understanding God's presence and activity in the world.   

Isaiah offers a prophetic invitation from God in chapter 55 for all to come, and seek and listen to God and then he says in verses 8-11: 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

 Can we be ok with the fact that we don't know all there is to know? Can we celebrate that we have a God whose thoughts are not our thoughts, and whose ways are not our ways?  I wonder what things you are feeling uncertain about when it comes to faith these days?  I wonder why it is hard for us to have conversations about such things without getting angry or trying to prove we are right at the expense of others.   

I believe that in God there is space for all of us to be figuring it out, and part of knowing God is actually in the listening and caring for people whose understandings and life experiences are much different than our own.  

That's my prayer, friends, that when we look at each other, we catch a glimpse of God.
Pastor Devon 
12 

Too Slow

Today on OnBeing's Instagram a poem was read by Fr. James Martin called The Slow work of God. It was written by a Jesuit Priest named Pierre Teilhard de Chardin who was also a paleontologist and geologist.  His life work really challenged religious thinkers to view their ideas through the lens of evolution, while also calling scientists to dig into the ethical and spiritual implications of their work.  He took part in the discovery of the Peking Man, and devoted his life to studying the intersection of faith and science. 

I believe this poem is actually a part of a letter that he wrote, but honestly don't know much about it.  However, it really spoke to me today when I listened to it being read.  

The Slow Work of God

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—
and that it may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually—let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

I have been struggling with impatience a bit these days.  It is as though something new is coming at us, but we can't yet see what it looks like.  Have you felt this sense of urgency, for something to give or change, or move forward? As a pastor right now we have entered into those "what's next" conversations.  When can we gather, how many people can be there, what does being safe actually mean, and how do we continue being the church in the meantime?  The questions surround me, but the path forward is unclear.  We must wait.  I also find that this feels a bit like a freight train coming right at me, and my brain is still trying to figure out the next right step for this day, and the next, and the next.  

I have never been good at "accepting the anxiety of feeling myself in suspense and incomplete."  These are hard spaces in which to reside, and yet it is in these spaces, in these times, that we are shaped and forced to trust the movement of God.  As you know if you've been reading these posts, I have also questioned what is next for my life.  How will this unique time offer gifts that change my future?  What are the lasting effects of this on your future?  Will we see the world differently, will we see each other differently?  Will we take better care of creation and our neighbors?  What is it that God is bringing to life in you?  

Listening to this poem today, the phrase that got me over and over was, "Don't try to force them on, as though you could be today what time will make of you tomorrow."  When we want all the answers, when we want things to get back to normal, when we yearn for things to make more sense, or to have a clear path forward....perhaps we are just unable to see the wisdom of tomorrow.  I think God's work is slow because we are often tough to mold.  It is a beautiful sacred connection that our God has with each of us, knowing us intimately, recognizing the hardest parts and the yearnings of our spirits, seeing what could be in our future, and allowing us to sit with the present as it molds and shapes us.  

If we can engage our lives with this perspective we might not be in such a hurry for those next steps, we might just find ourselves enjoying every moment of the slow work of God.  

Thankful to be on this journey with you,
Pastor Devon 

Uncomfortable

On Friday Ahmaud Arbery would have turned 26 years old.  On that day hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets to run 2.23 miles in his honor.  You see, on February 23rd, Ahmaud, a young black man was murdered by two white men while he was out jogging in Brunswick, GA.  Last Tuesday when the video of his murder showed up online, our nation finally noticed that another black man had been murdered for no reason, and with no justice.  People took to the telephones and social media demanding Justice for Ahmaud and finally the GBI got involved and the two men were arrested.  For months, the local DA and law enforcement actually covered up this incident.  

I thought about this all day yesterday as we celebrated Mother's Day.  I thought about what Ahmaud's mother must have gone through losing her son in such a senseless act of racist brutality.  I thought about what it must have been like for her to not only find out that he was gone, but then to have no legal recourse or representation in a corrupt justice system.  I imagine that was like screaming into a black hole, nobody listening, while drowning in the pain of losing your child.  I thought about the moms I know that are raising black children right now, and the fear that must overtake them when they read of yet another incident like this, another innocent young person of color losing his life for no reason.  I grieve that while raising children these days is no easy feat for anyone, for parents with children of color there is this extra layer of teaching that must happen - how to deal with law enforcement, where not to go, how to be aware of your surroundings at all times...and I'm sure the list goes on and on.  

I thought about the sacred moments of ministry I have experienced being present with parents whose child is dying.  The times when I have been present as a young mom is told her baby is not viable, or the hours spent holding someone's hand as they painstakingly await the news of their children's cancer diagnosis.  I thought about the joy in a new mom's eyes as she sees her beautiful baby for the first time, and the elation of grandparents in hospital waiting rooms as they get the good news.  

I thought about the love I have for some of my former Wesley House students.  I hear the pain in their voices as they, African Americans, wonder if they can still jog safely, or if their younger siblings will be the next name on the list of persons killed because of hatred.  

And I realize again, that not saying anything....is actually speaking loudly.  As a white woman I have a privilege that I did not have to earn, it came with my birth in the right family of the right color in the right nation.  As a pastor in a predominantly caucasian community I could really say nothing and get away with it, because pointing out the fact that white privilege and racism are real things that destroy humanity makes everyone pretty uncomfortable.  

Our nation has become a place where hatred is acceptable, even defended in such a way that oppressing certain groups of people goes unnoticed.  Often the Christian community fails to even recognize it and sometimes, with some really horrible scriptural interpretation, Christians actually perpetuate or enhance the divide.  I am so weary of being represented by this voice, and it is often the loudest one in the political and social landscape.  

This pandemic has put a spotlight on the truth that greed and selfishness are the lenses through which many people and systems operate. This spirit of self-gain at the expense of others is really contrary to the Gospel.  

Jesus was pretty clear about this, in Matthew 25:34-46 

 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,  I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’  Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 

Paul is also clear that prejudice and racist motives have no place in Christ in his letter to the Galatians:

As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise.(3:27-29)

Friends, it is easy to gloss over these things that make us uncomfortable. It is easy to turn our eyes elsewhere or just focus on what we need in this moment.  But getting uncomfortable leads to change, it leads to recognition that as Christians our voices should be the loudest for equality and justice.  God is a God of liberation, he always heard the cry of the oppressed (think enslaved Israelites in Exodus) and he leads them out, offering freedom.  Our voices and motives matter too. It is important that we recognize the inherent privilege we have and that we use it to be a voice for the voiceless. After all, saying nothing....really is saying something.   

Pastor Devon

Holding Hands.

One of the hardest parts of this time seems to be our loss of control.  We have been asked to stay home, many have been told not to go to work, and it feels limiting and frustrating.  I suppose this is why we see some humans behaving the way they are, with anger declaring their "rights" and claiming privilege that is not universal right now.  It is a classic human move when things are uncertain, to grab onto as much control as possible. 

Why do we do that?  Life is easier when we know the rules, when we know the consequences of our actions, and when we get to determine the next steps. We want to be in charge because we know what we want, and usually how to get it.  Sometimes it shows up when we are working with other people and we let them know that they aren't doing it "the right" way, or our way.  Have you ever heard yourself say, "If I want this done right, I will just do it myself!" 

Today I found myself bombarded by messages containing videos and information claiming that all of this has been some manipulative scheme to control people.  I hope you didn't waste valuable minutes getting all worked up about all of that today.  What I recognize at the core of that message is a deep thread of fear and a desire to regain control.  Being afraid can make us do all sorts of things, but it usually wants us to grasp onto any truth that we can find, and control not only our thoughts, but the thoughts and actions of others.  This turns upside down our ability to rationalize, to live compassionately, and to see outside ourselves.

I can get overwhelmed when I feel a loss of control, and it helps me to write down the things that I can control and to take an inventory of that over which I have influence. Generally, that helps me realize that I cannot control what anyone else says, does, or believes.  What we can always control are our responses to situations, actions, and people.  We can control how we engage conflict and fear.  We can control the impact other people have on us, and we do not have to allow in that which is detrimental to our being.  

Isaiah 41:13 says:

For I am the Lord your God

    who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear;

    I will help you.

When the things of life get a little chaotic, and we aren't sure what shape the next steps will take, it might be hard to reach out for the strong promise of God's faithfulness. Yet it is exactly in this reaching out that we are reminded that we stand on solid ground.  Reaching out with a truly discerning spirit removes the desire to control, and asks for God's wisdom to step in and guide and direct us.  Practically living our faith calls us into the recognition that more important than getting my needs met is taking the path that meets the needs of the whole Body of Christ.  This is the definition of beloved community, and this is the call of the church.  

So tonight if you are feeling like you need more control, like you want something you just can't have yet and are learning patience the hard way, or you just aren't sure which way to turn with all of this news & social media - reach out your hand, slip it into the faithful hand of God, and you will not be disappointed.  God's hands are strong, capable, and big enough for all of us.  It is here where we find rest.  

Holding you in the Light, friends.

Pastor Devon

Enjoy.

We have been using Adam Hamilton's book, Unafraid, for our weekly zoom Bible study.  In the text for this week he mentions this question from the Westminster Catechism.  This is a 17th century document that was written by the Westminster Assembly to be used to teach new Christians. It helped clarify the connection between the Church of England and the Church of Scotland. The above quote is probably its most well known question, and it is still a large part of the reformed tradition.  

I'm not sure why exactly, but as I prepared for the study tonight this really stuck in my head all day.  I did some digging and realized that this response is connected to these Scriptures: 

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 10:31 

"For from God and through God and for God are all things. To God be the glory forever! Amen."

Romans 11:36 

"You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.  Whom have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  

Psalm 73: 24-26 

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one."

John 17:22

To glorify God means to fully recognize, honor, praise, and worship God.  I think it is a matter of reverence and recognition that God is bigger than we can fully comprehend, yet we are invited into this dance with our Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer.  Through Christ we have been grafted in to this power and righteousness and when we grasp on to that how can we not be filled with overwhelming joy?

It's really the second half of that sentence that grabbed my attention today.  Not only can we glorify god, but we can enjoy God.  How do you enjoy God?  

These days it might feel like we are losing our footing and routine with God.  I know for me that not gathering for worship has really felt so foreign and almost as though a piece of my spirit is not fully functioning.  And yet, I have had to be more intentional about connecting with God, and taking notice of those moments of gratitude in the midst of rather long days.  The more diligent I am, the more I recognize and enjoy the movement of God - which truly can be found all over the place. 

For some Christians, God is a figure to be feared, the great being in the sky that is always watching with an eye to discipline. This is not the God I know, the one who calls me friend, the one I encounter in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.   My God, I Am, offers humanity a reason to celebrate - to enjoy this daily adventure of life with the humble recognition that the one who created the heavens, also has a loving eye on each of us. This is the kind of God I know, one who helps navigate the big things, yet who is deeply invested in the smallest things too.  

When is the last time you stopped to enjoy God?  When is the last time you laughed with God, sang to God, cried to God?  When our world feels chaotic, and we are distanced from the ones we love, we must take note of the little ways God is at work and alive around us.  

Take some time to look at the intricate details inside of a flower, read Psalm 139, find something that brings you joy and engage in it with gusto.  Turn up the worship music and sing loud in the shower.  

When things get heavy, remember that God delights in you - you can delight in God, too!

Love You,

Pastor Devon

Fire.

This quote from St. Augustine of Hippo is found in Book VIII, Chapter IV of The Confessions.  I first read this in one of my undergrad religion classes and have read it many times since then, though it is not an easy read.  I guess what draws me to it is his willingness and deep desire to continue searching until he finally finds rest in God. Augustine yearned to know the truth of faith, longed to have a conversion like other men he knew, but he struggled mightily in resigning his more worldly desires to it.  He does eventually take the leap, and it in doing so becomes one of the most influential figures in both Catholicism and the Protestant Reformation.  

There is something so deep about the movement of God in us, when we allow ourselves to trust in it.  I think Prophet Jeremiah touches on that when after facing persecution he turns to God and rather boldly lets God know that what he has been asked to do is really pretty awful and utterly difficult.  It's a bit of a double-edged sword for Jeremiah:

 If I say, “I will not mention him,    or speak any more in his name,”then within me there is something like a burning fire    shut up in my bones;I am weary with holding it in,    and I cannot.  (Jeremiah 20:9)

Can you think of the last time when you felt like you had fire in your bones about something?  When you just knew you had something important to do, or to say? Maybe you've crossed paths with someone and instantly knew that you were going to befriend them because your souls just connected? 

Whatever you want to call it:  passion, vocation, that still small voice...the movement of the Divine in us is real and can be overwhelmingly beautiful, it can also feel very elusive when yearned after. For Augustine this connection really haunted him until he finally was able to say yes to God.  For Jeremiah, saying yes led him to proclaim God's truth to deaf ears, and yet he could not step away from that fire in his bones.  

In many ways this strange time in our lives has forced us into a different dialogue with our Creator.  Everything coming to a halt created space for searching and listening to the movement of God, which can be so easily overlooked when we are busy rushing from one thing to the next, checking things off the never-ending to-do lists of our lives.  

Again today I heard someone speak of fire in their bones, a call to ministry of sorts - an excitement about trying something new, and a voice quivering with fearful exuberance at the movement of God.  This has been a joyful thread running through my life as a pastor these days.  There is nothing more exciting than when someone shares about the fire in their bones, when passion meets purpose and it all comes together in some new and amazing way.  

So tell me friends, what sets your bones ablaze these days?  What is the voice of God in your heart?  Are you making space for God to whisper the truth of your belovedness in your ear?  


Be our fire, O God.  Let us love.  Let us run.  
Pastor Devon