I don't want to be selfish.

This picture only shows a few of the million Kenyan's that turned out for the elections on March 4th.  It is amazing to look into this process from my viewpoint.  In my work with Hearth to Hearth Ministries I have grown to love and respect many Kenyans (young and older!) They have anxiously awaited this day with the hopes that it will lead to a prosperous future for Kenya, rather than one ruled by corrupt practices.  Kenya is a fascinating place.  Nairobi is a booming city, fast-moving and professional.  On the way to our Hope Center near Homa Bay we pass through Masai lands, where young children are seen herding goats or cattle. Then in Hope's neighborhood there are markets, grass-roofed huts, few cement structures, schools, and still animals grazing in the fields.  It is an interesting thing to think about when it comes to elections.  Above you see people in line in a room without electricity, voting by the light of the paraffin lamp.  Many of these voters stood outside in the sun for hours in order that they have the opportunity to cast their vote.  

It amazes me the way God has orchestrated my personal involvement with the people of Kenya and Uganda.    What I thought was a few weeks of Sabbath and rest in Kenya quickly turned into a director position working on behalf of orphans in these two countries.  I can only attribute this to God's directing, as I had never really thought of myself as one who would work this closely with any international mission organization.   I have grown to love and respect these people as though they are members of my family and I long to be an effective leader as they work to change their lives and for a stronger future in Kenya!

Today as I made my cup of coffee and hopped on my laptop I got to thinking about my sermon from Sunday.  We are taking the weeks of Lent to deconstruct our spiritual lives as we also spend time focusing on the 12 steps of AA (NA/AlAnon...).  This last Sunday was Step 4:  Create a Fearless and Daring Moral Inventory.  For me this step is one of the most challenging.  It requires us to actually think about our reactions, the walls we have built up around certain parts of ourselves, asking why and how do we live our lives intentionally.  This step does not focus solely on negatives, but also on those areas in which we are healthy.  But it does require that we take the blinders off and really examine the interior of our soul.  

I am overwhelmed by the blessings I have received in my life.  I am grateful for the affirmations of God that have opened doors as I sought to follow God's call into pastoral ministry.  I am grateful for the people that have been placed in my life, those that have affirmed and those that have challenged.  

If there is one thing that I hope I will never be it is selfish.  I do not want to be a person who cares more about myself, one who places myself as priority over others.  Here I am drinking a hot cup of coffee writing a blog post while my loved ones in Kenya are anxiously awaiting results that truly will impact their lives.  Here I  have spent $1 on this cup of coffee while I realize that $1 could feed one of our orphans for an entire day.  

I long to know what the world will be like when we have truly been redeemed by God.  When all will know the Truth and we will not have such questions about war and tragedy.  When we will no longer kill for power, but will have the true understanding that "the last shall be first."  In trying to protect ourselves and our "stuff" we often harm others without even realizing it.  In our busy lives we often get so absorbed that we don't have a clue that people are persecuted, suffering, with no control over their lives.  While we are drinking our coffee it is easy to forget about the child starving down the block.  

In worship on Sunday one of our children said during prayer time, "I pray that people in the world will all be ok."  It was a simple yet heartfelt prayer.  What would it look like for all in the world to be ok, for everyone to have enough.

As I continue to work on my moral inventory I realize that this journey of faith will continue to challenge me to grow, even when it is difficult.  Reflecting on who we are and who we want to be is tough, but I think that's one of the building blocks of discipleship.  

As for me, I have more work to do.  God has more work to do in me.  I just pray that I am open to it!

What do you pray for?