Here I am again writing the first post on a new blog. I have tried this before, quite unsuccessfully I might add. It seems that when I am trying to write something pastoral and profound it becomes quite the chore. This time I am just going to write. I'm excited at the prospect of having a place to share my thoughts and hopefully this will actually help me grow and reflect too.
When I think of blogging I am always confronted with the image of Doogie Howser at the end of his show writing diligently at the computer. Too bad the kids in my youth group don't even know who Doogie is...or Alf for that matter?!?! What has this world come to?
This time I will write simply from the perspective of Devon, not the pastor, not the leader, but just the woman who is trying to follow God's call on her life. This perspective will be much more entertaining than if I try to present some quick devotional or theological reflection...and maybe the lines will blur once in a while?
For today I write as the woman who feels a lot like Lot's wife. Who is she? She's the woman who looked back and quickly became a pillar of salt. This story is scary, really, but also cracks me up. What on earth would the people have thought that were standing there? Why salt?
Most importantly, why did she turn back? [Insert Ace of Base Song, "Don't turn around."]
She was told to leave the city with her husband. There are angels in the story telling Lot to take his family and go...so they do. Except...just one more quick glance back at the city of sin. (The story is in Genesis in case you're wondering...ch. 19). What is there that she wants to see? Did she make some friends there? Was she just wanting to check out what was happening?
Bam...she's turned into salt. That is nuts. Lot, her husband, had been doing stupid things. He even offered his daughters to the wicked men of the town. He had bargained with God, pleaded, he dragged his feet when he was told to get his family and leave. The story tells us that angels had to grab his hands to get him to go...
And it's his WIFE that turns to salt for looking back? This doesn't seem too fair. But, I am afraid that I'm a lot like her. Yikes.
I'm afraid that even in faith I like to look back and make sure I have things done my way. I'm afraid that I often act like I have "given" God control over things that overwhelm me only to worry and create anxiety about them for myself. I just have to have that last glance in case I've missed something.
Maybe this isn't all bad. I am a firm believer that every single person has great value in God's sight. I wouldn't want an entire city to be destroyed because of sin, and yet God felt this was the way to move forward. Am I questioning God? Sometimes that answer to this is a resounding "yep."
Oh how I long to be wiser in the ways of God while at the same time hold on to the child-like excitement of seeing God-possibilities all over the place. The challenge is to look ahead and to trust...lest I turn into a simple seasoning flying through the wind.
